I Was Abused When I Was A Kid

For the first 19 years of my life I was abused by my older brother of 10 years, hard to believe... but it's true. To this day I believe he wasn't mentally "all there". I mean, what kind of 27 year old harasses a 17 year old girl?

Emotional abuse. Mental abuse. Social embarrassment. It hurt more the any physical pain. I was tormented every single day... about weight (which is even more hurtful when your a developing teen girl) what I was doing (whether it was studying or watching tv) and even putting me down or embarrassing me in front of people we knew. It was the only horrific part of my childhood. The worst part is, my parents didn't ever see it, I mean, they sometimes did but they always thought it was my fault. "You trigger him!" "You disclude him from the family" it's all I'd ever hear when I'd tell my mum as a 12 year old girl that my 22 year old brother punched me in the face. Luckily, that was the only time
He ever did, I remember it like yesterday... him denting the dry wall to make out like I had banged my head on the wall delibaretlyy. After that day, I had my very first suicide attempt, in the school bathrooms. Every day since birth your bullied horrifically, by a family member, no body believes you... I was grown up in a home that made me believe that was the only life I could ever have, and I'll be treated like that forever. My parents defended him like lawyers in a bloody murder trial. One day everyone will know the story of my life, what I went through day in day out. It still happens, but we currently don't live together so our strained relationship relieves the abuse. Any advice or help....?