The cause of suffering is false expectation. We expect people to keep their word, we expect people who cared for us in the past to care for us today, we expect friends to say nice things of us behind our backs, we expect others to be considerate of our situation, and we were taught love means someone wants to be with us unconditionally. This right here is the root of our heartache. Because reality presents itself otherwise. Knowing that we all share the same pain, can bring a level of empathy that is healthy because we all feel as if we have something in common.
This is what I wish we were all told when we were 15, and what I bring to the table with my perspective and point of view:
At birth we are born knowing nothing but what comes by instinct. We don’t understand why it isn’t “right” to hurt someone, it has to be taught. We don’t understand why we shouldn’t jump off the slide, we have no comprehension of survival or why to survive for that matter, it is also taught. All modes of speech, writing, mathematics, ethics, etc to function in this world as it was prior to our existence in it is... taught. How do we enforce our teachings? Through reward and punishment, no other possible way.
Although at the core we become species that primarily look for our benefit, seemingly selfish, yet a requirement to stay alive and survive with the least negative consequences possible. We are molded into being 3 things:
Pleasing Productive Harmless
A deficiency in not being able to mold yourself after these ideals will have you labeled with a word that means you have a problem and you need to get fixed, for your own survival and so you don’t negatively affect the survival of others.
In the burden of the stress caused by this forced adaptation we seek an outlet, found in either:
Religion Drugs/Alcohol Entertainment/Sports/Hobbies Self-expression through art
All in the hopes of controlling our emotions, our anger, our frustrations at constantly having to mold ourselves after the conditions of those around us in order to be accepted and feel relevant in this life we live.
We start to call people “fake” because they only want you IF or because they don’t tell you what they don’t like about you to your face but behind your back.
But guess what? We do the same. We must want people IF for the sake of our own safety, and we don’t tell people things to their face because we fear the repercussions.
We too want those that are pleasing, productive, and harmless to us.
Growing to terms with the fact that the negatively label ascribe to you is not who you are, only a person that doesn’t do what they want. That is all this life is, a life of wants. Do what they want, they’ll “love” you, contradict their desires and ways and you are abandoned, labeled, or worse.
