I Miss Who I Use to Be

Forever seems to be like a fairytale word, iconic but it never lives up to the hype. (Similar to a "happy ever after") but I've never seen it. Nor have I even met someone who has. Forever means " for a while". When someone says they'll love you forever they do until the relationship breaks. Then (and yes they may still have feelings or a kind of love for that person) but nothing like what they conveyed when they said it..... We all want a fairytale life but we can't even get forever right. I really don't know what it is to me? Truthfully I think of it in that everlasting way. Yet I wonder how many others thought that once too. I have a love that I do believe will burn forever, yet will the pain ever become too much? Would i/could I face myself if I ever stopped? I want a forever, and I wonder if it's a kind of death sentence, (maybe that's why they are so rare).....I'm sorry if this post is hard to follow or decipher I've never been too great at describing things like this, I had to have someone help "forcefully" pull out and help translate. Tonight I was thinking about the contrast from ME "now" to HIM "then".....find someone whos smile, laughter, embrace, makes the world's bullshit bearable. Find your forever.