I Want To Cry But Can't Cry

Missing daddy a lot today.
Today is my birthday, and as long as I can remember by dad would pick me up from kindergarten or school and we would go get my birthday present.. it’s my first birthday since he passed away, and I miss him terribly..
My mom is struggling a lot since he passed. We moved in with my grandparents pretty fast after my dad died, so they take care of us a lot.
My grandparents are mostly nice, but they don’t seem to like us living with them, I guess they aren’t used to 3 boys making that much noice. They aren’t very patient, n I don’t know what my brother did, but it pissed them off today, so right now, I’m sitting alone in the basement, hiding away from all the negative energy..
I guess my birthdays aren’t going to be as fun as they used to anymore.. I’m trying not to cry, cause who wants to cry on their birthday..
At least school was nice today, some friends brought me cake and my whole class sang the birthday song!

Sorry this is a messy story, just trying to sort out my feelings