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I Have a Dysfunctional Family

I’m almost 23 years old. Still live with my parents and about to start school in the spring. I live in a very dysfunctional family. My sister is an absolute problem and probably 60-70% of my emotional and mental problems with the rest being my parents.

My sister is 26 years old and is a absolute monster. I’m not going to get into details about what she has done in the past because there’s too much. She manipulates my parents to get them on her side and to feel bad for her. She doesn’t work and doesn’t want to. She’s on food stamps and is trying to get disability because she has extreme bipolar disorder. She’s good at getting jobs, but quits them the next day.

Now my parents. My dad is a self centered narcissist who acts like a five year old and makes everything a joke and has no problem belittling you. My mom is self centered, but tries to act like a caring, generous person. She is highly controlling. I know she is bipolar, but doesn’t want to go to a therapist to get diagnosed. She has belittled me more than anyone in my house. She has said all of the problems in her life are because of me, she has called me numerous names, she has threatened to throw me out countless times and even threatened to call the cops on me.

When one of my parents and I get into a argument my sister jumps on in the argument by manipulating my parents to do something to me or if the argument is about her then she manipulates them onto her side. They say I don’t contribute anything to the house when I use to buy a bunch of food, let them borrow money once in a while when I’ve only asked them for money a couple times, and I gave them $500 when there was a medical emergency. My sister doesn’t contribute anything, but they think food stamps is a contribution when it isn’t even her money.

I have no place to move to, not enough money to live on, and just not financially stable to move. My body has physically, mentally, and emotionally changed radically in the past few years. I use to be more generous, kind, and caring. Now I have become bitter, angry, selfish, and depressed. When I was 17 I was forced to see a therapist, but my parents stopped paying for it while my sister has had therapists since she was 18. I can’t even afford a therapist. I’m not on any meds and never have.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I have felt lost for a very long time. I don’t feel love for anything and I no my parents don’t love me and if they did it hasn’t been for a very long time either. I feel mentally and emotionally numb. My personality would scare away even the biggest jerks. I have to pretend to be nice just to get by everyday. I don’t even remember ever having a self esteem since I’ve never really cared about my self at all. I never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I’m pretty overweight and can’t even bother with women since my personality is god horrendous. I’m honestly surprised I’ve made it this far in life without putting a bullet in my head. Any advice?
MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M
Hard to get out of the whole self hatred phase. I know I wouldn't have ever gotten out of it, how I did it I'm still surprised I did. You just do you. Don't worry about what they think of you. I know it's gonna be hard, I live with my parents too and 3 other siblings. I don't ever remember my parents saying something nice to me. It just doesn't happen, and if it does it's only meant to make me feel good which only you can do that. You just need to learn to walk on your own. It's gonna be hard but only right way to do it.
SW-User
I can understand why you’d be angry with this crew.
My family was batshit and abusive. All I could do was get away from them.
GoldenWorm · 51-55, M
Leave them
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
It can feel impossibly difficult to make changes in your life to establish lasting change & positive progress. But it is more than possible. Don’t let others keep you down & unhappy. You have to see your potential life ahead of you. You have to see the work it will take to reach but that if you don’t work for a different reality. Time will still go on regardless. You are the only person capable of improving your life, having it remain the same or making it worse. Having those meant to support us hurt us is devastating. But if you let their treatment define your choices you will undoubtedly have a miserable life. The time comes where you have to choose to save yourself 🖤

 
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