I have been in the pain area and looking in from the outside on more than just a few occasions . Wanting to be happy, accepted and living with purpose. I think purpose didn't come right away , it came later in life and led me into much more happiness than I thought I could ever imagine. Still with struggles. I almost gave up on happiness a few times when I didn't have any friends at all and no support of anykind. It's much better now. Yours will be to. Your friend Don