I Am Schizoid But Coping

trying to cope.. but the inner commentary in my head has taken a turn for the worse..a few years back a voice unfamiliar to me entered and commented when I would have inner chatter.. which now adays if I might add has been very persistent.. this voice isn't really a person I can identify.. so its not like schizophrenia.. but there are imaginary conversations that form against my will alot of the time..real odd shittt..stuff I'd never come up with ..it has started to change my personality.. if that makes sense..I'm becoming someone else.

it also comments on my whole life..anything and everything..and always has a negative point of view..likes to make up gayyyy thingss..to piss me off ..I hate feeling so out of control of myself..but I really can't stop it anymore...it leaves me constantly tired and drained..and Angry..always irritated and tense. ..it also speaks like a girls point of view..calling me a fat creepy pathetic failure ..which isn't too bad..ove heard it before ..its just annoying cause it's always there ..I can never just enjoy my privacy and not hear little whispers ..Idk how this happened honestly.. but yeah I use to not mind my schizoid self..i never was too good at showing strong emotions..like happiness or excitement.. kinda feels like I'm always acting.