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I Am Confused By People Who Think This Is A Dating Site

A LITTLE HISTORY

It is once again time for me to step back up on my soap box so please indulge me while I vent for a few moments.

Once again I have explained to a gentleman, and yes this one was a gentleman, that I am not using SW as pick up site. I had to explain that I was a member Experience Project since the time that it was a support site and that I have never used either site as a "hook up" site not do I cheat on my lover.

For those that are unaware, Experience Project was started as a support site for those with multiple sclerosis and their friends and family members in late 2004. The founder of the site had a friend and he just wanted to help her on her journey. It started out as an amazing idea and soon he found that people were more open in the anonymous environment. He stated in multiple interviews that was when he decided to branch out and support other chronic illnesses. Experience Project quickly became a place of refuge for many people that weren't accepted in mainstream society. You had people that had horiffic diseases that they couldn't share with people in their real life or didn't want people to feel sorry for them. Some with cancer, pancreatitis, AIDS, and many other diseases. You had people that had mental illnesses that were ashamed to admit in their real life that they were dealing with something like that disease. You had women and some men that had been sexually assaulted either in adulthood or childhood. Things that would cause a stigma in their real life if they told, became. Dialogue for them on EP and they were able to talk about on EP. It was far from a pickup site or an online dating site. When Similar Worlds was advertising their new site, they billed themselves as "the new Experience Project" but for them to be that they have to recognize the founder's purpose of the original site, and that was to be a support site above anything else. Social networks are great and they serve their purpose but we have Facebook, Twitter, and even Instagram and Snapchat for that. If SW is to be the next EP then it needs to embrace the support mentality. It needs to be less the dating site and hookup site and more the support interaction site.

I enjoy interacting with many of you here but I'm not here looking for a lover. I'm here because I like to read and write and I like to pass on the genuine support and love that I was shown when I first joined Experience Project so many years ago. For me, it's not about being the most popular person on the site. It's not about finding someone to spend my life with either. It's about a connection with someone, and possibly forming a friendship but mostly it's about showing and getting support when it's needed. The developers have said it is up to us to decide what we want SW to be, so the question remains do we want this site to only be one where people come to hook up, cheat on their spouses, and bully one another or do we want to create a place that is similar to the original Experience Project before the trolls and bullies took over. Do you want a place where you can express your innermost feelings and thoughts without fear of being attacked or do you want a place similar to Facebook where everyone is just trying to get their 15 minutes of fame but very afraid to remove their mask and be themselves. The beauty of EP was that we were able to do that and coexist with others that were very different from ourselves. The developers have made it clear that it is up to us to determine the path of the site. Where do you see SW going in the future? I would like to hear, or should I say read your comments and as always thank you for reading my post.
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bellybuttonfan17 · 36-40, M
I say it needs to be an open site where people can choose it to use it for any LEGAL purpose (dating , hooking up etc.) Or for support ! Like how the developers have given freedom to users, we must also use it as a responsible medium, while conforming to TOS and Legal Laws. Having said that, users must also have a choice of opting OUT of viewing experiences / stories they feel doesn't concern them. (for example in my case pooping/diapers etc. Has no interest for me). But I would leave that path to each individual and not force it on the community ad a whole and instead enable individuals to be able to customize their experience here by being able to follow/unfollow experiences. :)

My 2 cents.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I agree that sometimes It is boring on EP, and because of the "twitter stories" it is sometimes boring for the more literary types here and I've had that conversation with quite a few individuals. I can see both sides of it though. I really think there needs to be more of a balance but definitely less of a gang mentality and bullying of others. That really bothers me in this format. It didn't happen back in the day on EP and that does really bother me. If I don't agree with what someone does or they annoy me I simply block them. I don't see the need to bully them but I have seen a lot of that happening, but I've also seen some say they are being bullied but unless It is behind the scenes I can't see it or understands that either.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
That expresses my feelings exactly. Honestly I don't care if people use it to hook up, but just don't try to make someone feel bad because they aren't.
marsbar · F
Thank you for explaining the history behind EP fungirl. I wasn't aware of that. SW should be a support site. Each of us are here for various reasons, but hopefully SW becomes a place where people feel better about themselves & their lives through their interactions with others. Whatever people take away from here should be positive & uplifting, even if it brings just a smile or a chuckle.
marsbar · F
I agree fungirl. Until you really take the time to talk to someone, you have no idea about their reasons for being on here unless they state it directly on a post. When I joined EP in September 2014, I was already late to the game. All I kept hearing was that years back, EP was at its pinnacle, & that eventually it went downhill. SW will have its own ebb & flow. It will work for some but not for others.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Thanks for your comments every one.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Thanks for reading my post BMV. I'm losing hope of finding that place of acceptance. This post caused me PM interaction with some folks that I wouldn't have known were here if I had not posted it. 5 people that all have chronic/terminal illnesses that just wanted to talk and listen. So now I have 5 new persons to chat with.
SW-User
I absolutely loved this post. Thank you for sharing the origin of EP. Unfortunately I don't think we'll ever be rid of the bullies and trolls when it comes to the internet. But I do hope SW becomes more of a support site for everyone.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Hby, I have hoped for this to be a place similar to the EP where we met and became friends. I am blocking liberally too, something I never had to do on EP. :(
Rootstoblossom · 46-50, F
That's why I am here. Support, friendship, encouragement. Life is hard and often hard to discuss openly
I thought ep was boring for the most part. I like how SW is now.. it's more "social" media and a lot less 10 page stories.
bellybuttonfan17 · 36-40, M
Yeah I am totally against bullying too. I would never stand for it. If you don't like something , disagree in a civil manner or agree to disagree and move on. There is always the block button. :)

But in general, I want this to be a place that makes people leave happier than when they log in. I get enough shit in the real world that I want this place to be the place where people leave happier, with a smile and if I can be that person to make it happen I will, else I will keep my opinions to myself. :)
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I have a text thread with quite a few former EP persons. 100 plus general on the first Friday of the month. They are some of the person's that I trusted most from EP days. That was exactly what was expressed in our messages recently. They were talking about how much they missed the supportive nature of EP and how much crap they deal with in real life and just wanted a place to escape and express themselves without being attacked. I had that in my mind as I was writing this so I do understand belly.
Hikingguy · 56-60, M
I think you are spot on. The things that went on with EP became it's eventual demise. And that is sad. Lets hope this doesn't happen here.
Well said, Fun. Too bad they have taken it to an extreme from it's origin. Thanks so much for sharing.😘
HeavenBesideYou · 56-60, F
When you asked me to come here, I came. I too have hopes for this place. I don't think anything will ever be as great as the early days of EP, but surely we can make this place a hell of a lot better than the EP that I left years ago. I am doing my part by blocking this time, where I never did on EP. Time will tell.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Diablesse, I have missed EP for a few years now.

I hope we see a nice place unfold lim.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Great post xx
Peppa · 31-35, F
Support site definitely... had a crush on someone on ep before and that was a total embarrassment.
Chrisredfeild · 51-55, M
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I know Roots. There are so many people in this world that are dealing with a lot of pain. Even a fun girl deals with it sometimes. ((hugs))
Liminalghost · 51-55, M
It has been said nothing lasts forever - time will tell..
Thank you. I am in awe of your wisdom
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Thank you Chris. :)
diablesse · 56-60, F
While I didn't join EP that long ago, I was lucky enough to join it when it was still a place of support, a place with people who genuinely cared. I was sad to see EP go because it will always remain that place for me, no matter how much the trolls, the bullies and all the stupid changes they introduced. I missed EP even before they shut down the site and I suppose you must as well.
i consider you my lifeline
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
That is a sweetcthing to say but you've known me for 7 or 8 years too.
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Aww thank you pingy. ((hugs))
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Same here fungirl. I've blocked many people.

 
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