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I Am Poly

It is not easy to explain polyamory to people who never had interest in it.
Sometimes we get accused of wanting our cake and eating it.
But what draws me to poly is a deep respect and love for each another's individuality and freedom.
A friend of mine shared with me this poem which I agree with her, explains beautifully what is at the heart of being poly:

I do not need you, I want you.
I have no empty spaces to fill, I have spaces to share.
I do not expect you to make me happy,
I want to smile of your joy and make you smile about mine.
I do not love you to death,I'm not yours and you're not mine.
I'm complete even without you, you're perfect even without me.
I will not die if you go away, you will not stop being happy if I go away.
I don't burden you with the responsibility of my personal satisfaction,
I welcome you as a mirror and messenger, I offer you my eyes to inquire into yours.
I do not bind you or let myself be bound to the need to be loved, the fear of abandonment.
I'm not alone without you, you're not lost without me.
We are two wonderful and precious universes, complete, perfect,
who meet to create new worlds.
I will not close doors and windows to keep you near me,
I will not let you limit my flight.
I honour your freedom by choosing my day every day.

Emanuela Pacifici



The original in Italian for those interested:

Non ho bisogno di te, ho voglia di te.
Non ho spazi vuoti da riempire, ho spazi da condividere.
Non mi aspetto che tu mi renda felice,
desidero sorridere della tua gioia e farti sorridere della mia.
Non ti amo da morire, non sono tua e non sei mio.
Sono completa anche senza di te, sei perfetto anche senza di me.
No morirò se andrai via, non smetterai di essere felice se andrò via.
Non ti carico della responsabilità della mia personale soddisfazione,
ti accolgo come specchio e messaggero, ti offro i miei occhi per indagare nei tuoi.
Non ti lego nè mi lascio legare dal bisogno di essere amata, dalla paura dell’abbandono.
Io non sono sola senza di te, tu non sei perso senza di me.
Siamo due meravigliosi e preziosi universi, completi, perfetti,
che si incontrano per creare nuovi mondi.
Non chiuderò porte e finestre per tenerti accanto a me,
non ti permetterò di limitare il mio volo.
Onoro la tua libertà scegliendo ogni giorno la mia.


Emanuela Pacifici
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CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
My first impression was the word "complete" and how each person is not needing something from the other(s) except desiring intimacy. It's a rare person that can be that complete to enter into this kind of relationship, I think. And communication is key! That cannot be overstated.

I hope you find your Nirvana, my friend!! --DW
MrSquishy · 56-60, M
@CoffeeFirst I agree, I think to reach this emotional stage is more than often the result of a long maturing (although I am sure there are a few freak naturals out there). The most important part I think is an awareness of our own insecurities and refusing to be led by them. But rather chose to be led by more positive emotions.