I Am Suffering From Heartbreak
It's hard to even put into words the way I feel right now. Getting out of bed everyday is a struggle, and the thoughts won't stop spiralling around in my brain.
"Why didn't I do this" "I should have done that".
My heart got shattered recently by the person I love. I don't want to go too much into detail about the ins and outs as it isn't fair to expose personal details, but I do want to talk about the feeling. I literally feel physically sick, like I've never felt this kind of pain in my life. I honestly thought I wasn't capable of loving a person so much, but it turns out I was wrong. He broke down every single barrier that I put up as a front. He's the only person I've ever been 100 percent myself around and the only person I've ever felt 100 percent comfortable with. I was never able to get close to people but he was the exception.
We broke up due to many arguments but carried on seeing each other to see how things would go, and they were very on and off. Two weeks ago he decided he didn't want to do it anymore and just cut me out of his life just like that, like I meant nothing. I kept bombarding him with emotional emails wanted explanations but he didn't respond. A mutual friend spoke to him and the words I heard cut deep like a blade piercing through my heart, he said he didn't love me anymore and he wants to put me where I belong in the past. Further on in their conversation he admitted he was seeing someone else and said apparently he was going to tell me but thought I was too unstable (which is utter lies as he blocked me on everything and ignored everything I emailed him). It just doesn't process in my mind that he is with another girl. I don't understand what I did so wrong, and how he fell out of love with me so quickly. Was he ever in love with me!? I remember the times where he was obsessed with me and the way he used to look at me to literally nothing!? I wish I hadn't of been so moody, I wish I made more of an effort with his family and friends.. just so so many wishes. I was struggling with my own issues (anxiety and depression) throughout the relationship and I thought he got it.. but maybe I relied on him too much. But I literally would have done ANYTHING for him. People say fight for the person you love. I still want to fight for him but what's the point in fighting for someone who has moved on and fell out of love with me 😰
"Why didn't I do this" "I should have done that".
My heart got shattered recently by the person I love. I don't want to go too much into detail about the ins and outs as it isn't fair to expose personal details, but I do want to talk about the feeling. I literally feel physically sick, like I've never felt this kind of pain in my life. I honestly thought I wasn't capable of loving a person so much, but it turns out I was wrong. He broke down every single barrier that I put up as a front. He's the only person I've ever been 100 percent myself around and the only person I've ever felt 100 percent comfortable with. I was never able to get close to people but he was the exception.
We broke up due to many arguments but carried on seeing each other to see how things would go, and they were very on and off. Two weeks ago he decided he didn't want to do it anymore and just cut me out of his life just like that, like I meant nothing. I kept bombarding him with emotional emails wanted explanations but he didn't respond. A mutual friend spoke to him and the words I heard cut deep like a blade piercing through my heart, he said he didn't love me anymore and he wants to put me where I belong in the past. Further on in their conversation he admitted he was seeing someone else and said apparently he was going to tell me but thought I was too unstable (which is utter lies as he blocked me on everything and ignored everything I emailed him). It just doesn't process in my mind that he is with another girl. I don't understand what I did so wrong, and how he fell out of love with me so quickly. Was he ever in love with me!? I remember the times where he was obsessed with me and the way he used to look at me to literally nothing!? I wish I hadn't of been so moody, I wish I made more of an effort with his family and friends.. just so so many wishes. I was struggling with my own issues (anxiety and depression) throughout the relationship and I thought he got it.. but maybe I relied on him too much. But I literally would have done ANYTHING for him. People say fight for the person you love. I still want to fight for him but what's the point in fighting for someone who has moved on and fell out of love with me 😰
