I Know I'm Crazy
I just wrote a message to someone at work. It's like 1/6th of 6 conversations I had with myself. And she got that little snippet. And it doesn't make any sense, is slightly personal, and so on. Oops. Should not have sent it.
It's always 3am for me, I'm so tired all the time. It's sad, because it means little things make me angry, I say weird stuff, I respond in odd ways and I try not to converse with people because I know weird stuff will come out of my mouth. Stuff that's bubbling away wishing it had an ear to listen and a mouth that's not mine to give answers.
I am definitely *not* an island. Lactose, for me, as a kid was my drug to escape. I didn't know it, I didn't even know I was intolerant. But I was. So tired all the time from it, tummy troubles all the time too. And it meant everything that wasn't being taught to me just kind of phased out.
But I crave social interaction now I've been alone for so long. So much so that I'm starting to explode out to unsuspecting people, without any precursory conversation.
I wish I could write it like I used to, but I'm in a different stage of my life now and I need to SAY it out loud!! Someone please open up to me, that I might open up in return... It's happening, slowly, and that's the killer. Once the can is opened, it all comes spilling out. But the can is opening quicker than anyone is ready for. Ooff.
It's always 3am for me, I'm so tired all the time. It's sad, because it means little things make me angry, I say weird stuff, I respond in odd ways and I try not to converse with people because I know weird stuff will come out of my mouth. Stuff that's bubbling away wishing it had an ear to listen and a mouth that's not mine to give answers.
I am definitely *not* an island. Lactose, for me, as a kid was my drug to escape. I didn't know it, I didn't even know I was intolerant. But I was. So tired all the time from it, tummy troubles all the time too. And it meant everything that wasn't being taught to me just kind of phased out.
But I crave social interaction now I've been alone for so long. So much so that I'm starting to explode out to unsuspecting people, without any precursory conversation.
I wish I could write it like I used to, but I'm in a different stage of my life now and I need to SAY it out loud!! Someone please open up to me, that I might open up in return... It's happening, slowly, and that's the killer. Once the can is opened, it all comes spilling out. But the can is opening quicker than anyone is ready for. Ooff.
36-40, M