Had you heard of Anesthesia Awareness before this?
I am so very pleased to see this group. This is my tale.
On November 8th, 2007, I went into the hospital to have a 'routine' arthroscopic knee surgery on my left knee. At first things went fine. I was out for fifteen minutes when I woke. See, during surgery, three types of drugs are administered for "anesthesia." It's called ' the triad of anesthesia", and when any one of the three drugs (a neuromuscular paralytic, anesthesia, and an analgesic) fail, an Awareness can occur. For me, two elements stopped working, the anesthetic agent, and the analgesic. This meant I could feel and hear everything, but was paralyzed from head to toe with a tube down my throat. (I think being intubated was the worst feeling I've ever had this misfortune of feeling!
So, as you can imagine (assuming you're not an Anesthesia Awareness, or in medical terms, Unintended intra-operative Awareness survivor), I was pretty mentally messed up after that. I had unrelenting flashbacks when I was awake, and horrible nightmares about it when I tried sleeping. It got to where I'd fall asleep and wake up before REM (dream) sleep. I wanted the flashbacks to stop, and attempted to kill myself a few times. Luckily I'm not good at it, for I'm much better today.
But my story doesn't stop there... It (to me) was very ironic that I experienced an Awareness (what us survivors call it), because you see, about 2 months before it happened, the movie Awake (about a young man with a rare heart disease who experiences an Awareness) came out. If you're not a survivor, watch the movie. If you are a survivor, you don't need to watch it, you lived it! It became my worst fear.
The odds of an Awareness happening are very small, out of every 10,000 surgical patients, 100-200 people will wake up in surgery, (.01-.02%!!) so I thought it'd never happen to me! Oh how I was wrong! But, facing and later surviving my worst fear made me into a tough woman. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but yet I am thankful for what I learned, and can share with others.
Redheads require 20% more anesthesia to go out than any other hair color. This is due to a genetic mutation that enables folks with red hair to absorb more vitamin D in less sunlight.
After a couple of years, I took some friends to the local social security office. Now ya see, I like to read, and I spotted a woman with a book I wanted to read, so I asked her about it. We talked, and after a time, I went to answer mother natures' call. As I was headed back, she asked about my limp. I told her about what had happened, and can you imagine my surprise and horror when I found out the lady with the book had been through the same thing FIVE or SIX times? It floored me that someone should have gone through it more than once. Before we parted ways, the lady with the book made me make a promise, one that has a sacred importance to me. She made me promise to NEVER shut up about what happened to me, and to learn as much about Awareness as possible, and to teach people how to prevent it from happening to them. I will NEVER, under ANY circumstance, break this special promise.
After meeting HER, things began to improve. They didn't get better overnight, but as I began making friends with other survivors, things slowly but steadily started improving. My flashbacks scaled back, I began having less nightmares, and began to appreciate, hell, even enjoy being alive!! Now days I have an almost normal sleep cycle & schedule, I very seldom have flashbacks, and I can (and do) talk to the anesthesiologist with out flipping out afterward. The nightmares are a non-issue, as I taught myself how to lucid dream so I can control my dreams/ nightmares better.
Awareness is easily prevented through two things.
1-A BiSoectral index (or BSI, bis monitor to nurses), which helps the anesthesiologist monitor your brain waves to make sure you're truly under.
2- a sedative such as Versed (ver-sed) administers just before going into the OR. This ensures that should you wake, you won't remember anything.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll do the best I can to answer them. My goal is sinply to spread awareness about Awareness.
On November 8th, 2007, I went into the hospital to have a 'routine' arthroscopic knee surgery on my left knee. At first things went fine. I was out for fifteen minutes when I woke. See, during surgery, three types of drugs are administered for "anesthesia." It's called ' the triad of anesthesia", and when any one of the three drugs (a neuromuscular paralytic, anesthesia, and an analgesic) fail, an Awareness can occur. For me, two elements stopped working, the anesthetic agent, and the analgesic. This meant I could feel and hear everything, but was paralyzed from head to toe with a tube down my throat. (I think being intubated was the worst feeling I've ever had this misfortune of feeling!
So, as you can imagine (assuming you're not an Anesthesia Awareness, or in medical terms, Unintended intra-operative Awareness survivor), I was pretty mentally messed up after that. I had unrelenting flashbacks when I was awake, and horrible nightmares about it when I tried sleeping. It got to where I'd fall asleep and wake up before REM (dream) sleep. I wanted the flashbacks to stop, and attempted to kill myself a few times. Luckily I'm not good at it, for I'm much better today.
But my story doesn't stop there... It (to me) was very ironic that I experienced an Awareness (what us survivors call it), because you see, about 2 months before it happened, the movie Awake (about a young man with a rare heart disease who experiences an Awareness) came out. If you're not a survivor, watch the movie. If you are a survivor, you don't need to watch it, you lived it! It became my worst fear.
The odds of an Awareness happening are very small, out of every 10,000 surgical patients, 100-200 people will wake up in surgery, (.01-.02%!!) so I thought it'd never happen to me! Oh how I was wrong! But, facing and later surviving my worst fear made me into a tough woman. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but yet I am thankful for what I learned, and can share with others.
Redheads require 20% more anesthesia to go out than any other hair color. This is due to a genetic mutation that enables folks with red hair to absorb more vitamin D in less sunlight.
After a couple of years, I took some friends to the local social security office. Now ya see, I like to read, and I spotted a woman with a book I wanted to read, so I asked her about it. We talked, and after a time, I went to answer mother natures' call. As I was headed back, she asked about my limp. I told her about what had happened, and can you imagine my surprise and horror when I found out the lady with the book had been through the same thing FIVE or SIX times? It floored me that someone should have gone through it more than once. Before we parted ways, the lady with the book made me make a promise, one that has a sacred importance to me. She made me promise to NEVER shut up about what happened to me, and to learn as much about Awareness as possible, and to teach people how to prevent it from happening to them. I will NEVER, under ANY circumstance, break this special promise.
After meeting HER, things began to improve. They didn't get better overnight, but as I began making friends with other survivors, things slowly but steadily started improving. My flashbacks scaled back, I began having less nightmares, and began to appreciate, hell, even enjoy being alive!! Now days I have an almost normal sleep cycle & schedule, I very seldom have flashbacks, and I can (and do) talk to the anesthesiologist with out flipping out afterward. The nightmares are a non-issue, as I taught myself how to lucid dream so I can control my dreams/ nightmares better.
Awareness is easily prevented through two things.
1-A BiSoectral index (or BSI, bis monitor to nurses), which helps the anesthesiologist monitor your brain waves to make sure you're truly under.
2- a sedative such as Versed (ver-sed) administers just before going into the OR. This ensures that should you wake, you won't remember anything.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll do the best I can to answer them. My goal is sinply to spread awareness about Awareness.
41-45, F
