I Want to Know Your Earliest Memory
Babyhood to Toddlerhood. Can't find the right group to write this and not sure either what's the right one to create because it's not about the memory. I believe I'm not the only one. I had experienced some moments when I was a baby, what I mean is I was exactly there, I had witnessed them.
Few moments that had mostly fascinated me that time was when someone carried me in his chest, I didn't familiar with his vibe but it was an adult man, today I'm guessing it was my dad. It was daylight, I know it from the outside of the house was bright. We were walking inside the house into the closed door of the room and there was my grandma wearing a long sleeved dark dress and bright colour around her neck, I didn't know the colour's name. She was brushing her long hair down to her hip, then she saw me and said something to me that I didn't understand, but I knew she was surprised and happy to meet me, I knew it from her face and I felt it was good feelings to see me. Then she talked with the man who carried me with the language I didn't understand while I saw there was a lot of stuff in her room, I was thinking how she could walk with these stuff all over the place. I wanted to ask that but I didn't know the language and I felt bummed. I was asking myself, is she feeling sad and why is she feeling sad, not as a sentence coming into my mind but it was just feelings. Then she took me from the man to her arms while they were still standing, hugged me and talked to me while my arm tried to reach something unique that attracted me from lot of stuff behind her. Fast forward I was 11, I saw a photo of my grandma wearing dark blue long dress with white collar hugging a small baby on both her arms with the unique hanger and pile of things in the background.
Sometimes later, I was in the small closed surroundings with opened space in front of me. I was wrapped up by something thick and heavy around my body and I felt overwhelmed by that. It was night, I know it because the highest view above me was dark. I saw a dog, a short girl and an tall adult man around me. The dog and the girl's vibe was familiar to me, but not with the adult man. I wanted to touch the dog so bad but I was stuck in that box, I kept trying to reach it but I couldn't move, then I felt tired and I guess I was fell a sleep. Fast forward, I was prolly 10-11 saw a picture of a baby's carriage with a baby in a hoodie inside of it but a bit bigger than the first picture. Next to it was my girl cousin who's 6 years older than me and an adult man that is my dad and no dog. I asked my grandma was there any big dog that time, she said yeah it was near someone who took the picture. I didn't familiar with my dad's vibe and until now I don't close to him. Interesting.
Another one I think I was much bigger because I could walked but slowly and pretty cautious the way I walked and understood few people's language. I was wrapped up by a thing that made me moving, swinging, today I know it's a baby swing. It was placed outside because whenever I was there I always saw the bright highest view above me with the branch of the trees and the leaves that not far from me and the softly wind on my face, the vague voice of people and the gently thing that wrapped me up, I loved all the way it felt, it felt like I just wanted to be there. It made me falling asleep easily, so there was not much interaction, only few words "you're sleeping again?"
I could go on and go on but it going to be too long. Long story short since 3 I had witnessed more my early childhood, perhaps not every day but most of the time I do. I too can remember through pictures. See, it's different between when you can remember things through pictures, videos, diary or else and when you were there. I didn't know how old was I at those moments, I just combined things by asking my family, figuring out the situation at the pictures, the people and stuff with few big particular moments as I grew up older to tell myself my age that times. For example my grandpa passed away in a year when I was 4 then I just observed one by one my age further back to know my age.
As I grew up I began to understand why there were so many stuff in my gram's room, why I felt her feeling sad that time, why I could recognised her presence more than anyone, why I could not recognised both my parents' presence, why I love dog so much, why I love to sleep with opened window and let the wind comes in from the garden on a day or night. It all related as I grew up. The one thing that surprised me a lot when I saw the pictures is I was that small, I mean in my present mind I should had been bigger like perhaps somewhere in 2 years old. It creeped me out a bit until my friend told me about baby's golden age and brain development from 0-6 months and stuff and it has calmed me a bit. It has also opened my mind about babies as I'm not kid person. Every time I see a baby before they grow their teeth to their early childhood, I'm thinking "do you witness this presence like me back then?"
Few moments that had mostly fascinated me that time was when someone carried me in his chest, I didn't familiar with his vibe but it was an adult man, today I'm guessing it was my dad. It was daylight, I know it from the outside of the house was bright. We were walking inside the house into the closed door of the room and there was my grandma wearing a long sleeved dark dress and bright colour around her neck, I didn't know the colour's name. She was brushing her long hair down to her hip, then she saw me and said something to me that I didn't understand, but I knew she was surprised and happy to meet me, I knew it from her face and I felt it was good feelings to see me. Then she talked with the man who carried me with the language I didn't understand while I saw there was a lot of stuff in her room, I was thinking how she could walk with these stuff all over the place. I wanted to ask that but I didn't know the language and I felt bummed. I was asking myself, is she feeling sad and why is she feeling sad, not as a sentence coming into my mind but it was just feelings. Then she took me from the man to her arms while they were still standing, hugged me and talked to me while my arm tried to reach something unique that attracted me from lot of stuff behind her. Fast forward I was 11, I saw a photo of my grandma wearing dark blue long dress with white collar hugging a small baby on both her arms with the unique hanger and pile of things in the background.
Sometimes later, I was in the small closed surroundings with opened space in front of me. I was wrapped up by something thick and heavy around my body and I felt overwhelmed by that. It was night, I know it because the highest view above me was dark. I saw a dog, a short girl and an tall adult man around me. The dog and the girl's vibe was familiar to me, but not with the adult man. I wanted to touch the dog so bad but I was stuck in that box, I kept trying to reach it but I couldn't move, then I felt tired and I guess I was fell a sleep. Fast forward, I was prolly 10-11 saw a picture of a baby's carriage with a baby in a hoodie inside of it but a bit bigger than the first picture. Next to it was my girl cousin who's 6 years older than me and an adult man that is my dad and no dog. I asked my grandma was there any big dog that time, she said yeah it was near someone who took the picture. I didn't familiar with my dad's vibe and until now I don't close to him. Interesting.
Another one I think I was much bigger because I could walked but slowly and pretty cautious the way I walked and understood few people's language. I was wrapped up by a thing that made me moving, swinging, today I know it's a baby swing. It was placed outside because whenever I was there I always saw the bright highest view above me with the branch of the trees and the leaves that not far from me and the softly wind on my face, the vague voice of people and the gently thing that wrapped me up, I loved all the way it felt, it felt like I just wanted to be there. It made me falling asleep easily, so there was not much interaction, only few words "you're sleeping again?"
I could go on and go on but it going to be too long. Long story short since 3 I had witnessed more my early childhood, perhaps not every day but most of the time I do. I too can remember through pictures. See, it's different between when you can remember things through pictures, videos, diary or else and when you were there. I didn't know how old was I at those moments, I just combined things by asking my family, figuring out the situation at the pictures, the people and stuff with few big particular moments as I grew up older to tell myself my age that times. For example my grandpa passed away in a year when I was 4 then I just observed one by one my age further back to know my age.
As I grew up I began to understand why there were so many stuff in my gram's room, why I felt her feeling sad that time, why I could recognised her presence more than anyone, why I could not recognised both my parents' presence, why I love dog so much, why I love to sleep with opened window and let the wind comes in from the garden on a day or night. It all related as I grew up. The one thing that surprised me a lot when I saw the pictures is I was that small, I mean in my present mind I should had been bigger like perhaps somewhere in 2 years old. It creeped me out a bit until my friend told me about baby's golden age and brain development from 0-6 months and stuff and it has calmed me a bit. It has also opened my mind about babies as I'm not kid person. Every time I see a baby before they grow their teeth to their early childhood, I'm thinking "do you witness this presence like me back then?"
100+, F