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How can I stop my self-destruct timer
I’m an idiot. I’m at literally the dumbest person I know. I think I just singlehandedly destroyed my 7year marriage in a single night. I didn’t cheat on her. Not even close. I hurt and scared her. I have a habit of harming myself whenever things stop going my way. I made a suicide plan when I was 15. I had already 3 friends kill themselves at This point. But then I met her and decided that I could live long enough for her to discover what scum I really am, she’ll leave, then I can die just like I planned. But the problem now is how much I want her. But I really did it last night. I’ve hurt myself to the point I need staples or stitches, I’ve told her I’m going to kill myself again. And just overall blowed up. Worst mistake of my life so far. If I’m not able to turn things around, I probably will make an even dumber mistake
26-30, M
11 replies
Mar 15, 2019
MartinTheFirst · 18-21, M
Change dude. You can save it if you rebirth your inner self.
MartinTheFirst · 18-21, M
[@908917,Knucklez] tried going to Jehovah's witnesses' kingdom halls? I'm a jw myself.

No I mean like decide to drop your act. You didn't have to tell your girlfriend those horrible things, that was a choice my dude.
Knucklez · 26-30, M
[@336516,MartinTheFirst] yeah no shit there Sherlock. Ya figure that out yourself? I’m well aware of all the choices I’ve made and what they’ve done to me and her. I have a problem, and the problem is being able to make the right choice and say the right things. I’m nothing but a huge fuck up. Unwanted baby from birth. I wasn’t even supposed to be born. My whore mother should have swallowed me
MartinTheFirst · 18-21, M
[@908917,Knucklez] well that sucks. Peace out.
Starcrossed · 36-40, F
I'm sorry you're both hurting.
Knucklez · 26-30, M
[@580386,Starcrossed] I don’t understand. Could you rephrase that please?
Starcrossed · 36-40, F
[@908917,Knucklez] she will work through this with you and you'll make her happy again. There are two parties in a relationship, surely you alone has not ruined everything. Are you [i]positive[/i] she sees all that is negativr as [i]your[/i] fault?

I've had falling outs before. True love and true friendships come back together eventually.
Knucklez · 26-30, M
She says just the opposite. Basically everything you said. But I don’t see it that way. She sees it as both our faults, but I don’t. It’s just me. I’m the only problem[@580386,Starcrossed]
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