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Dating & Relationships

What do I do?

My sons father and I was in a on and off again relationship. He left to the military and I thought he would go to become a better individual. He called me to say he missed me and my son. He sounded like he was really becoming someone better. Well within the same week of him calling me I found out that he has a whole new baby on the way. His sister text me to invite my child to the baby shower. I was extremely angry and hurt. I cut off communication from him and his family because I felt like everyone knew but chose keep me in the dark. I'm so disappointed in myself because I had so much for him and put all my trust in him when he gave me false hope and lead me on like a fool. I don't ever want to speak to him and feel as if that's best for me. As far as our child if he wants to see him then he can go through a third party and see him at a place neutral such as my grandma house where I won't be around and won't have to see him. I'm so angry and feel like such a sucker for believing a liar and falling for lies. I need help in figuring out what to do.
SoggedNapped · 26-30, M
So what you need to do for you and your family - just focus there and forget everything else and try to move on- that situation just sucks...
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
Try to get child support, but move on and find someone who will actually be with you and your child. Oh, and ideally get some birth control.
firefall · 61-69, M
Dont be disappointed in yourself - you gave love and trust, and it's always worth the gamble to see if you can find a life partner. That it didnt work out, and he's a cheating idiot, is not your fault at all. Severing all contact like that seems far & away the wisest course of action for you: but don't beat yourself up for taking a risk.
ReaperofTime · 41-45, M
Really? Thats simple If he likes to impregnate entire towns ....cut him loose
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
might I point out - u said it was an on & off relationship - its not like ur married or in a full on committed relationship. Fair enough there is a child involved & he should be there for ur son. I can understand why ur upset but cut ties - he's obviously not interested in having something long term with u & his family are fucked up for not telling u sooner!
Naureknowsbest · 26-30, F
His family is messed up. The time span of when my sons father left up until I got the text nobody called to check on my son. Secondly, his sister claim she didnt know but I went out and celebrated their birthday and the day he left I was in front of her crying and emotional about him leaving. I told her I used to like her but I can't say the same thing after that day. His family is very messed up and I told them I am cutting them all off. They told me I shouldn't be mad at them. Well how can I not.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
says it all really.... families stick together - looks like they are defending him. let go.... teach ur son not to be like his father & treat people well - that's all u can do!
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
You've already seen the light and decided what to do. All you need now is the will to stick to it and not let yourself be beguiled by him again. Anger fades. And that is when he will try again.

And, of course, you also need a good attorney to arrange child support and appropriate visitation. Depend on an attorney, not him. Listen to your attorney, not him.
TuffMama35 · 36-40, F
You going about things the right way.. next step is a custody agreement so nothing can come back on either of you.
Take ur time to process a bit though. If you rush in to hasty decisions you may regret it. Good on you for reaching out for advice
Naureknowsbest · 26-30, F
I am taking a big step back and have severed ties with him and his family. I changed my phone number and told my family to block his number on their phones. Friday I plan to go to court to set up child support and custody. He has no more lies to tell me or the woman he knocked up
TuffMama35 · 36-40, F
@Naureknowsbest: awesome. Lesson learnt by you I Hope?
Your child is what matters in this situation, make it as easy as you possibly can. Kids adapt quickly, he may go through a faze and you will recognize it right away. But with the right guidance and support you will both get throught it. Good luck!

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