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Dating & Relationships

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Someone here who considers themselves solo polyamorous?
I want love and sex, not the relationship.
Tbh, I came across that expression only yesterday and although I'm all against labelling myself, this made me think:
"With dating, there is often an end goal of finding a partner and getting married. At least, this is the automatic assumption people make. In solo polyamory (at least my version), the purpose of dating is to connect with people however we connect – as friends, lovers, intellectuals, activity buddies. There isn’t an end goal of marriage, which allows the connection to happen where it does, and for the relationship to unfold as it wants to – not how we are forcing it to."
31-35, F
23 replies
Nov 2, 2016
lucetta12 · 31-35, F
I don't want the relationship or the love. I just want the sex. I want them gone the second after. I don't like relationships.
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
Fair enough.
SW User
I've never heard of that term before, but that's exactly how I feel too.
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
Fascinating, eh?
SW User
Very! I never understood the who marriage thing, let alone setting that as a goal. Why not enjoy the moment and see where it goes?
Candice · 41-45, F
You can't have real love without relationship.
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
@Candice: First line of my question: "I want love and sex". ;)
Candice · 41-45, F
'Not the relationship.' And I said it's not real love without relationship. @LunaInvicta:
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
@Candice: Well yeah. I guess we have to agree that we disagree then. Thanks for your input.
bamaboylick · 56-60, M
Interesting. I don't do labels either but I can see myself in this
SW User
That seems like a narrow definition of what it means to be in a relationship. I think if you feel love towards and care about a person then it's a relationship. even if there is no agenda to bring about a particular endpoint.
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
Ha! Good point. I've been thinking about that too. It's a pity that it all boils down to definitions and how they differ from person to person. I believe you have a relationship with a person as soon as you interact one way or the other. Lovewise, I see relationships as a big project between two or more people.
SW User
I tend to view things that way as well.
SweetSexySavage1 · 41-45, T
This is what I'm struggling with now. Me and my hubby have been polya for years, but I think I'm leaning more towards the solo polya side. I feel suffocated, but I want to stay in a relationship with him and love him dearly. I just don't want to live with anyone. If that makes sense. I've always been a solitary person, when it comes to my home space.
LunaInvicta · 31-35, F
I feel you. ;) Any plans on talking to him or still struggling?
SweetSexySavage1 · 41-45, T
@LunaInvicta: He responds by yelling every time I bring it up.

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