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It was easier to pretend to be monogamous in a lot of ways...
I know that I can find a certain kind of Happiness even in a monogamous relationship albeit it wouldn't be complete, I want my cake and to eat it too and the frosting and all in regards to relationships in truth- and part of the reason I was drawn to Polyamory was because I saw the Green monster as Ugly. Jealousy is a hideous emotion..... And I know that I was smitten with Compersion especially when I first started to realize that I felt it myself and had started to experience it.

What is compersion you might ask? It's the opposite of jealousy, it's a sort of sympathetic joy at watching your love interest take a romantic interest in other parties.

I know that I've felt that way before about certain people and I guess I started to hunger for reflected onto me.

It's just that in a lot of ways I never unlike so many of us poly people really had trouble with infidelity. I was more than capable of of fully committing to one person and even finding happiness in that relationship it was just that I would still want more...

In most relationships I've had to push that attraction down and pretend it wasn't there to spare the feelings of my beloved...

And in a lot of ways It's why I started to prefer polyamorous women because at least there we could talk about it

I was... I guess you could say Romantically seeking my Best Friend and somebody I could confide anything to.

and so we found each other...

But in many respects if I had not fallen for her it would have been easier to bullshit everyone....

Because I don't cheat- I regard it as a form of dishonesty.
31-35, T
0 replies
May 23, 2020
Edited: 1 week ago

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