How do you move on from an abusive relationship?

I got out of a really bad relationship a few months ago. While I don’t love my abuser anymore the affects still linger. To the point where I push people away because I am so afraid of being hurt. It cost me someone I really love recently, and I can’t stop kicking myself over it . How do you learn to be patient with yourself and learn how to allow someone to love you the way you deserve?

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Mamapolo2016 · F

In my opinion, and that's all it is, an opinion, although I have experience with this...

You have to forgive the abuser and forget them. As long as they are still the cause of why you behave the way you behave, you remain a victim - and you don't have to.

Once you understand they are no longer relevant to you in any way - any more than a childhood illness you had, like the chicken pox...it's easy, like walking out of the shadows into sunlight.

But you have to do that before you can love or let yourself be loved. Sometimes that takes longer than a few months.