I could be wrong, but sounds like you both are hurting because of each other. You might be mad at him and he might be disappointed in you, but I think a part of you is asking this because you know you're still his daughter. My advice is open your heart. Give yourself time to heal if you must. But don't close doors permanently. He's your dad. And you deserve that shot of reconciliation if that is what would make you not regretful in the end. :)
Sometimes parenting never starts but if it does, it never stops. He put it badly but he is expressing affection and concern for you. It isn't a matter of it being his business. How ever slim a thread it is, you are forever part of his life tapestry. What you choose to do with that is up to you.
Well what did you expect? If you found out news about someone you loved from a random person, wouldn't you be upset that this person you loved didn't tell you themselves?
@bijouxbroussard of course it does, but severing ties of kinship has little to no basis.
“The person who perfectly [b]maintains the ties of kinship[/b] is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him“. [Al-Bukhari].
and
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:
“The one who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.” [Agreed upon].
well as my daughter that pushed me away for 7 yrs ,,for a man is finding out you reap what you sow . Now her daughter is with a man ,,and she no longer calls her Mom he has a billion excuses why he can't bring her to visit ,she has cut herself off from her Mom ,,who was an excellent Mom to her
2 wrongs don't make a right
For him not to be in your life for whatever reason to say he is disappointed in you for not letting him meet your future husband is kind of over the top
Call his bull ,introduce the two of them ,ask his approval then say "Now I can assume you are paying for you "First Born's "wedding Dad ?
@rhouse not always ,,but once we have kids of our own ,,(some of us ) see we are not so perfect ourselves as parents it does tend to make us rethink how horrible our parents were Like me finding out my Mom was not only Bipolar ,but she also had thyroid cancer which can make you bat shit crazy ,throw in she was adopted ,but her real Mom kept her sister ,,I wish now I had understood her hell
I am glad we made up and I was able to take care of her the last 14 months of her life ,,,but she was a mess ,,,on her death bed I asked what she wanted me to do about some of her things ,,she said "I will leave that for you and your Brothers to fight out" ,,,,but I miss her a lot ,,she is the only Mom I ever knew
If he hasn't tried before this, and from the sounds of it he hasn't, then honestly your life is yours, do with it what you want. If YOU want him there, then so be it, otherwise, you don't even have to answer him. If you choose to answer him, then you can bring up the fact that he hasn't seemed to care enough the last five years so he gave up any rights for the present and future.
Sounds like he is filled with regret over the 5 year lapse and instead of congratulating you and wanting to try to be in your life again, he is instead projecting on you.
Sounds like you've got daddy issues. Look inward to find the source of the problem, not outward. Start with that and you'll move forward with results soon. Good luck.
No, you’re an adult and [b]you[/b] get to choose who enters your world. If your father was hoping to become a part of your life again, trying to shame or guilt you into a reconciliation is, well...foolish. Frankly, if it were me it would be [b]another[/b] 5 years after receiving that message. 😳
