Is he looking at me or just in my direction?

I can never tell! Especially because when I have a crush on someone I do my best to not look in their direction out of fear of looking too much and being obvious lol so I can’t say I’ve ever “caught” anyone staring at me much. I feel like he does but at the same time, I truly think I’m just getting carried away at this point. I notice him looking in my direction but that’s probably just it. Only in my direction, not at me. I know it can’t be because those kinds of things are the same exact things I’ve convinced myself about my previous crushes in school. “He’s totally staring at me” “he totally blushed” “there’s definitely a vibe between us” and none of them turned out liking me...Granted I never found that out for sure BUT, I highly doubt thats something I’d be right about multiple times considering I have no experience with guys that way... Lol My brain is just seeing the things I want to believe. I’m so into him right now, I fell overboard! Exactly what I was trying to prevent.
Now I know I’ll be hurting some time in the future and it’s all my fault cause i have the biggest imagination and I let myself get carried away...something I haven’t let myself do in a while😅 someone please! Knock me out of it! UgHHH I’ll keep y’all updated anyway. This site is like my diary lol