I Hate Drugs
Drugs, Alcohol, Basically Anything That Can Affect The Clarity Of My Mind And Impare My Judgement...
-[b]Warning:[/b] Some readers might find this story offensive.
I went through a lot of **** in the past decade. I went from one hell to another. From savage beatings in middle school that went on for whole four years, to severe anger problems later on (probably caused by the previous trauma), social segregation, emotional deadness, to reiterating myself back with the general society only to end up betrayed by all of my friends (save one) and waves after waves of depression that just kept rolling in...
You get the picture. The last decade has been a cesspool at best, hell at worst for me. And through all that time, I've seen other people take drugs or drink alcohol when their lives took a bad turn. And it made them feel better. I saw it, and I know it's true. They really did feel better after taking it. But the high came with a high price. And I'm not just talking about the addictions - that came later. I saw them lose control of their states of mind. They would say things - do things - they never would otherwise, not in a million years.
For me, something like that was horrifying beyond measure. After everything I was going through, my mind became my sanctuary. My last and only sanctuary. That is why I'm always fighting my anger and depressions so desperately. That is why I was willing to risk everything to stop the emotional deadness I spoke of earlier. My mind is the only place I feel I am completely safe and in control. My sanctuary. My last refuge.
I think that this attitude also lead me to subconsciously develop a huge disrespect for the people who would do this to themselves. I try to keep it in, and not judge them because of it, because I know that they too have suffered in the past and would probably do anything to get rid of their addictions. But if I see that the person is abusing things like drugs and alcohol - especially drugs - just because they like it... because they think it is fun... and for no reason other...! Now that is <u>unforgivable</u>.
Thank you for reading this story, and I'm sorry and I apologize if it was difficult to follow. I wrote it in the heat of passion, after reading some stuff here on the web about how some people love to use drugs and how great it makes them feel and how they wouldn't change it for the world... ugh.
-[b]Warning:[/b] Some readers might find this story offensive.
I went through a lot of **** in the past decade. I went from one hell to another. From savage beatings in middle school that went on for whole four years, to severe anger problems later on (probably caused by the previous trauma), social segregation, emotional deadness, to reiterating myself back with the general society only to end up betrayed by all of my friends (save one) and waves after waves of depression that just kept rolling in...
You get the picture. The last decade has been a cesspool at best, hell at worst for me. And through all that time, I've seen other people take drugs or drink alcohol when their lives took a bad turn. And it made them feel better. I saw it, and I know it's true. They really did feel better after taking it. But the high came with a high price. And I'm not just talking about the addictions - that came later. I saw them lose control of their states of mind. They would say things - do things - they never would otherwise, not in a million years.
For me, something like that was horrifying beyond measure. After everything I was going through, my mind became my sanctuary. My last and only sanctuary. That is why I'm always fighting my anger and depressions so desperately. That is why I was willing to risk everything to stop the emotional deadness I spoke of earlier. My mind is the only place I feel I am completely safe and in control. My sanctuary. My last refuge.
I think that this attitude also lead me to subconsciously develop a huge disrespect for the people who would do this to themselves. I try to keep it in, and not judge them because of it, because I know that they too have suffered in the past and would probably do anything to get rid of their addictions. But if I see that the person is abusing things like drugs and alcohol - especially drugs - just because they like it... because they think it is fun... and for no reason other...! Now that is <u>unforgivable</u>.
Thank you for reading this story, and I'm sorry and I apologize if it was difficult to follow. I wrote it in the heat of passion, after reading some stuff here on the web about how some people love to use drugs and how great it makes them feel and how they wouldn't change it for the world... ugh.
31-35, M
