I Am Sometimes Clueless

I Just Don'T Know Anymore.... It's like to the point of breaking, I can't even control the tears at this point. I'm who I am, why can't they accept me without coming up with assumptions, I want to be myself. Not who they expect to come from me. Why can't they support me and give me the wise advice most grandparents should? Why do they have to treat me like this, out of all the ways to treat somebody, why this one? Why can't I talk to someone without crying and losing all reality. Why can't they look at me and tell me that I'll be a good writer one day, why can't they tell me I would make a good doctor. Why do they have to tell me that I'll be shooting people, and stabbing randoms on the street? Why do they have to tell me that I'll hurt everybody I know, including my friends and siblings. Why can't they tell me that I'm a good person, why can't I be perfect, or at least how they want me too. I can't even think right now. Computer already blinding by the flowing tears, just pouring and pouring. I just can't at the moment, this is ridiculous. Why do they have to tell me I'll be like my parents, lieing, abandoning, alchoholic parents. Why can't they just help me through how I am and the life I want. Why can't they just let me be, why can't they just let me do things I prefer them. Why can't I just think without knowing they would be there to knock down every block I had stacked. How am I supposed to reach my highest with them there behind me waiting to knock it over? Why can't I just be good enough for them. Just enough for them, why can't I ever be good enough for anybody it seems like anymore. Just a waste of energy, like I don't even matter anymore. I can't even talk to anybody about this without completely losing it, the thought of losing my Cat knocks the life out of me. Would they even care if I was here or not? I just can't.. ~Jayde.