I Dissociate

It's a regular occurance. I shut down from the world and yet still manage to function (some what). What is wrong with me?! I know why it happens but I hate it sometimes. Sometimes I don't want to close off from the world - I actually want to feel pain and cry. It's like my emotions are banging violently against bulletproof glass and I can only feel the vibrations. I want to SCREAM, but I have no voice. I just stand and stare into nothing. Watch the world go by; that is until anxiety begins to seep through the window pane and eventually shatter the glass and lead an onslaught of emotions.