I Am Overwhelmed By My Life
This year was suppose to be a great year, a great year of change and positive improvements to my life and to my boyfriends life. But life keeps throwing curve balls left and right. I started a new job at the end of last year, after a year of jumping from one job to the next because nothing was a good fit. We decided to start trying for a child, while looking for a house to buy. I started working on a Master's degree to further my career. My boyfriend got a promotion at work, and continues working on another promotion. We went on an amazing cruise. Prior to that cruise we lost a pet, Walter, but he past away from old age. It was peaceful and expected, since he had outlived his expected age. It was hard, but I handled it well. After the cruise things started to fall apart, quickly.
My job, became more stressful.
We lost 3 pets. 2 were due to old age, I was sad but they both outlived their expected ages, and both passed away peacefully and in my arms. One of my pets died unexpectedly and I still am having a hard time with her death.
We lost our pregnancy. I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy and had emergency surgery to terminate the pregnancy. I can not watch pregnancy announcements with out crying, I can not go on facebook and see all my friends with their kids with out crying, I can not watch any shows or movies with out crying because half of them end up with some sort of pregnancy or baby. I am still struggling with what happened. And when we decided to try again, I am high risk, and we can not afford IVF or any alternative to a natural pregnancy.
My plan for completing a masters degree, became complicated because I am a non-traditional student that actually HAS TO WORK for a living.
We found a house that we are in the process of buying (which should be amazing) but I am beyond stressed out because I am probably going to have to get a second job... Which leads to...
Having to take longer than planned to completing my master degree, for a better job, and having to pay out of pocket because I will not qualify for a student loan.
I have a dog, that we got because my in-laws put no time or effort into his training, he became fear aggressive, dog reactive/aggressive, and fearful of people. He is high energy, so it is a struggle to get him out for walks. With the new house we got a place that we will be able to build a fenced in yard for him (when we have the money) And then they go and get a new puppy, I hate them for what they did to my dog. They should pay for the fence, and they should pay for the professional training I need for my dog because they f-ed up. I hate that they are "trying" to train their new puppy. I love my dog, but I cry a lot because of frustration.
From a child I have has stress, panic, and anxiety attacks. Most of the time I can manage them, but now I am struggling. I am having attacks every night and day, I am taking a lot of frustration out on my boyfriend. I am exhausted.
My job, became more stressful.
We lost 3 pets. 2 were due to old age, I was sad but they both outlived their expected ages, and both passed away peacefully and in my arms. One of my pets died unexpectedly and I still am having a hard time with her death.
We lost our pregnancy. I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy and had emergency surgery to terminate the pregnancy. I can not watch pregnancy announcements with out crying, I can not go on facebook and see all my friends with their kids with out crying, I can not watch any shows or movies with out crying because half of them end up with some sort of pregnancy or baby. I am still struggling with what happened. And when we decided to try again, I am high risk, and we can not afford IVF or any alternative to a natural pregnancy.
My plan for completing a masters degree, became complicated because I am a non-traditional student that actually HAS TO WORK for a living.
We found a house that we are in the process of buying (which should be amazing) but I am beyond stressed out because I am probably going to have to get a second job... Which leads to...
Having to take longer than planned to completing my master degree, for a better job, and having to pay out of pocket because I will not qualify for a student loan.
I have a dog, that we got because my in-laws put no time or effort into his training, he became fear aggressive, dog reactive/aggressive, and fearful of people. He is high energy, so it is a struggle to get him out for walks. With the new house we got a place that we will be able to build a fenced in yard for him (when we have the money) And then they go and get a new puppy, I hate them for what they did to my dog. They should pay for the fence, and they should pay for the professional training I need for my dog because they f-ed up. I hate that they are "trying" to train their new puppy. I love my dog, but I cry a lot because of frustration.
From a child I have has stress, panic, and anxiety attacks. Most of the time I can manage them, but now I am struggling. I am having attacks every night and day, I am taking a lot of frustration out on my boyfriend. I am exhausted.
31-35, F
