I Have Something Random To Say
I'm back! Alot has changed for me ever since EP shut down. I graduated, I lost some weight, and I started college!
Graduation was a big milestone in my life but wasn't anything too major. It did hit me that I was about to become an "Adult" soon and it kinda shocked me to realize that I'm all grown up now lol.
Over the summer I started going to the gym and lost a significant amount of weight. People noticed and it made me feel good. I also felt like I was alot more good looking and attracted more people. Now I'm busy with school and don't get to go to the gym much. I try to not gain the weight back because it actually was hard to loose it all. I don't want to go back to the way I looked before, I feel more confident now.
College. What a change. I love college but at the same time I'm stressed out if that makes sense. I'm constantly stressing out about keeping up my grades. There is so much to worry about when it comes to grades, I'm doing good now and I just have to keep it up because the semester is ending soon.
Another thing is I feel so lonely and my thoughts go to such a dark place sometimes. I have friends but I still feel alone. Something is missing. A real human connection, it's hard to explain. I questioned if I was depressed. I also have these mild suicidal thoughts. It feels like I have nobody. That's exactly what it feels like. No one can help me but myself.
Other than the dark thoughts overwhelming me at times, I think I'm okay. I'm trying to make improvements with myself and try to look at the world and everything around me with a different perspective. I need to be positive and always keep this smile on my face. At this point I've been "experimenting" more with certain things lol and I just need to remind myself to be careful and not get too carried away with all the new things I'm being introduced to.
Graduation was a big milestone in my life but wasn't anything too major. It did hit me that I was about to become an "Adult" soon and it kinda shocked me to realize that I'm all grown up now lol.
Over the summer I started going to the gym and lost a significant amount of weight. People noticed and it made me feel good. I also felt like I was alot more good looking and attracted more people. Now I'm busy with school and don't get to go to the gym much. I try to not gain the weight back because it actually was hard to loose it all. I don't want to go back to the way I looked before, I feel more confident now.
College. What a change. I love college but at the same time I'm stressed out if that makes sense. I'm constantly stressing out about keeping up my grades. There is so much to worry about when it comes to grades, I'm doing good now and I just have to keep it up because the semester is ending soon.
Another thing is I feel so lonely and my thoughts go to such a dark place sometimes. I have friends but I still feel alone. Something is missing. A real human connection, it's hard to explain. I questioned if I was depressed. I also have these mild suicidal thoughts. It feels like I have nobody. That's exactly what it feels like. No one can help me but myself.
Other than the dark thoughts overwhelming me at times, I think I'm okay. I'm trying to make improvements with myself and try to look at the world and everything around me with a different perspective. I need to be positive and always keep this smile on my face. At this point I've been "experimenting" more with certain things lol and I just need to remind myself to be careful and not get too carried away with all the new things I'm being introduced to.
