I Hope For The Best, And Prepare For The Worst
Recently, I have been ill; months of repeated miserable cystitis attacks eventually causing delirium in the form of an 8 day panic attack with no food or sleep. It was very frightening, draining and debilitating. I am still feeling confused and shaky.
I am facing the fact that there is, at least currently, no cure for what I have (recurrent cystitis and interstitial cystitis).
Science and the pharmaceutical companies are working on it and there is hope that sometime in the next few years there will be some newer and better treatments and maybe a vaccine.
However, this recent attack of delirium really shook me to my core. I have tried to come to terms with the possibility that I might wind up unable to care for myself many years before I expected to be in that situation. This has been scary and depressing. But I have to start considering it because I have no one around me able to help me. No children, grandchildren etc.
I decided that, no matter what, I need to do one important basic chore no one ever knows about but a LOT of people have had to deal with it...and always at the worst possible time. I learned about this when I put my mother into a senior home years ago. Later, I talked to many people who went through it.
It goes like this: You are going through a LOT of work to prepare to move your relative into a home. You have to close up/sell their house or apartment, put furniture and household goods up for sale, give stuff to charity, arrange for movers, sort out what to take to the home, etc. You have been busy and are exhausted.
The afternoon before the big move you are still going, still checking off your big to-do list. You decide to call the home just to confirm your time of arrival. You converse with a social worker and agree you will be there by, say, 10:00 AM.
As the conversation is about to close, the social worker tosses you an afterthought: "Oh, by the way, all of her clothes, linens and towels must be labelled with her name."
You almost faint. It is 4 in the afternoon! You did not know that. No one told you! You ask if you can finish that chore later after she is moved in. The social worker says a firm No to that; they won't check her in unless every garment, sheet and towel, every handkerchief is labelled. If they don't check her in by 10 AM, she will be put back on the 10 month waiting list!
So...you call every person to help you. One loyal friend finally agrees to help. You call every store in town to find blank labels and then dash out to buy them plus a laundry marking pen. You and your friend spend all afternoon, evening, then all night writing the name on the label, then ironing them or, in a few cases, sewing them onto clothes, sheets, towels etc.
When I did it, we started at sundown, then I told our family friend to go home at 3 AM while I continued until 6 AM.
Why O why do they never ever tell you this until the last minute? After I did this, over the years I have talked to many people who went through the exact same thing. It seems to be a common ordeal.
So...yesterday, I got on the Internet and ordered a bunch of name labels with my name on them. I felt like a kid going to camp.
When I get them in a few days, I will locate an iron and an ironing board, get out my sewing needle and threads, and start labeling my clothes, sheets and towels. Anything of that nature that I buy in the future will be carefully neatly clearly labelled. Then, no matter who gets stuck with this annoying chore, me or someone else (probably me), it will not turn out to be an exhausting last minute ordeal.
The idea that I might have to wind up in a home is depressing. But at least if I have to do it, I will have one of the most annoying labor intensive chores done.
And, if I make a recovery, as I hope I will, I can send my laundry out with little chance of a mix up.
Somehow feeling a bit more prepared makes me feel better.
I am facing the fact that there is, at least currently, no cure for what I have (recurrent cystitis and interstitial cystitis).
Science and the pharmaceutical companies are working on it and there is hope that sometime in the next few years there will be some newer and better treatments and maybe a vaccine.
However, this recent attack of delirium really shook me to my core. I have tried to come to terms with the possibility that I might wind up unable to care for myself many years before I expected to be in that situation. This has been scary and depressing. But I have to start considering it because I have no one around me able to help me. No children, grandchildren etc.
I decided that, no matter what, I need to do one important basic chore no one ever knows about but a LOT of people have had to deal with it...and always at the worst possible time. I learned about this when I put my mother into a senior home years ago. Later, I talked to many people who went through it.
It goes like this: You are going through a LOT of work to prepare to move your relative into a home. You have to close up/sell their house or apartment, put furniture and household goods up for sale, give stuff to charity, arrange for movers, sort out what to take to the home, etc. You have been busy and are exhausted.
The afternoon before the big move you are still going, still checking off your big to-do list. You decide to call the home just to confirm your time of arrival. You converse with a social worker and agree you will be there by, say, 10:00 AM.
As the conversation is about to close, the social worker tosses you an afterthought: "Oh, by the way, all of her clothes, linens and towels must be labelled with her name."
You almost faint. It is 4 in the afternoon! You did not know that. No one told you! You ask if you can finish that chore later after she is moved in. The social worker says a firm No to that; they won't check her in unless every garment, sheet and towel, every handkerchief is labelled. If they don't check her in by 10 AM, she will be put back on the 10 month waiting list!
So...you call every person to help you. One loyal friend finally agrees to help. You call every store in town to find blank labels and then dash out to buy them plus a laundry marking pen. You and your friend spend all afternoon, evening, then all night writing the name on the label, then ironing them or, in a few cases, sewing them onto clothes, sheets, towels etc.
When I did it, we started at sundown, then I told our family friend to go home at 3 AM while I continued until 6 AM.
Why O why do they never ever tell you this until the last minute? After I did this, over the years I have talked to many people who went through the exact same thing. It seems to be a common ordeal.
So...yesterday, I got on the Internet and ordered a bunch of name labels with my name on them. I felt like a kid going to camp.
When I get them in a few days, I will locate an iron and an ironing board, get out my sewing needle and threads, and start labeling my clothes, sheets and towels. Anything of that nature that I buy in the future will be carefully neatly clearly labelled. Then, no matter who gets stuck with this annoying chore, me or someone else (probably me), it will not turn out to be an exhausting last minute ordeal.
The idea that I might have to wind up in a home is depressing. But at least if I have to do it, I will have one of the most annoying labor intensive chores done.
And, if I make a recovery, as I hope I will, I can send my laundry out with little chance of a mix up.
Somehow feeling a bit more prepared makes me feel better.
70-79, F
