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I Have A Tendency To Speak In Analogies And Metaphors

I remember learning about similes and metaphors when I was in the 8th grade, and I found it incredibly boring. (Though I still managed to get A's in the class - I was THAT kind of kid).

As I've grown older, I've come to recognize how powerful they are as learning and communication tools. I use them to help me understand new concepts, and I find I use them a lot during a conflict with another to try to paint a picture about the situation or how I feel, or even to check in with the other person's perception.

I'm not exactly sure what others think about this, as no one has ever said to me, "Gee, I really loved your imagery/analogy", but I do wonder if others see this the same way I do.

One analogy I used that I'm pretty proud of is with a friend who at the time tended to be, in my opinion, too negative and critical about literally EVERYTHING. He genuinely values truth, but (at the time) tended to do so at the expense of kindness and relationship. I found it to be really difficult to take his criticism seriously because he was so darn NEGATIVE and judgmental in how he expressed it. I was trying to make the point that when you give criticism, both truth and kindness are needed. I wanted to express this concept in terms of something I knew he understood, and what I happened on is the fact that he likes tinkering with car engines. After talking to my brother to make sure I understood the functionality, I told him truth was like the engine itself - it's where all of the power and action is. That sounds to me like that's something that would appeal to a male, and I told him I could see how he would appreciate that, and that he's not wrong about there being power there. Then I told him that grace and kindness are like the radiator. It doesn't do the same thing the engine does, but it cools the engine down so it can KEEP converting gasoline into energy and doing its work, and that without the radiator, the engine simply overheats and stops working. I asked him, "What good is an overheated engine that doesn't work?" I told him that if he wanted to drive down the road of life with the radiator ripped out of his car, I certainly couldn't stop that, but that I didn't care to "ride" with him for more than a short jaunt because I could see that without that radiator, he was going to stall out.

He lives out of town, so I'm not exactly sure how he took it, but I do remember getting something along the lines of a "WOW!" (Not a common reaction for him.)

What about the rest of you? Have you ever used analogy or metaphor in a particularly creative way?
Kerennya · 56-60, F
@Solitary: Sounds like that was probably a good move. Not every person is going to click with every therapist, and that's okay. In the therapeutic process, I don't think rigidity in working with people is helpful, unless maybe we're talking about keeping the environment safe for both therapist and client. Some of building rapport is giving people some space to who they are and where they are, so long as their behavior doesn't endanger themselves or others. It doesn't sound like this lady was able to do that.

@Jake: I'm glad your therapist was more accommodating. It sounds to me like she had a good way of working with you on it - giving you some space to use it and allowing where it could be truly useful, but also helping you to see how it could trip you up in your efforts to deal with things. I think a lot of things can be like that - useful if used in a certain way, less useful if used in a different way.
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
One I can particularly remember which didn't seem to go over too well with a Psychologist that I was seeing was when I was describing what I struggled with in my life.

I explained that I felt like a large rock in the middle of a fast flowing stream. While the rock was very much a part of the flow of things it wasn't in harmony with the water that simply slammed up against it and passed it on by. It stood it's ground through the strong current but that didn't move the rock anywhere and life in the waters just came along and past it by.

I often try to look at more creative ways to express how I'm feeling or how I see things, because some people find it hard to grasp the language I choose to use when it comes to explain what condition I'm in or how I perceive things.
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@Kerennya - Yes, true enough. With credit to her I believe, if I remember correctly, that she might have admitted that she may not be of much help to me. It takes a decent therapist to do that, however I did feel like I was being judged by her, which is never a good thing. I also don't think it helped that there was over a year to wait on the waiting list to see her and there's only so many sessions that she was able to offer to try and work on an area that was causing me troubles.
JakeShade · 61-69, M
I also have worked with a therapist who fought me on my strong use of metaphor. She was patient with it within reason but insisted (with some merit) that I often used metaphor to obscure the issues. I preferred to think (using a metaphor here) that it was my way of "sneaking up" on particularly difficult topics... she actually *deferred* to me on that one!
SolitaryFriend · 41-45, M
@Kerennya - she didn't find it all that useful to talk about things in a more abstract manner, always favouring direct and realistic communication about what the issues were at hand, in a very rigid and structured manner. It's no surprise that we didn't click and we didn't continue beyond the first session.
JakeShade · 61-69, M
I use metaphor all the time, both in my everyday writing and in my professional work which involves helping scientists understand complex abstract phenomena better.
Kerennya · 56-60, F
@Solitary: What didn't the psychologist like about your metaphor?

 
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