I Believe Intimacy Goes Beyond The Physical

my thoughts are so ensnared with how ashamed/embarrassed of how i acted with this idea. i truly [i]do[/i] believe in this with all my heart.........but there is a................very taunting line i tend to [i][b]giddily[/i][/b] step over. its a line of being saved vs just keeping it online becuz its intensely frustrating to want to be saved but then realize with my situation i can do [i]everything[/i] on the computer and ironically being a in this moment girl i worry about my situation with guys - like the biggest being patience/respect. im so afraid of being rejected by a guy becuz of my situation and i already had a in person experience with that. its enough for me to have a relationship on the computer by making it personal with someone worth it but its easy to slip into a daydream where i get lost completely and go into a mode of jumping ahead but then i snap out of it by realizing theyre just moments trying to turn "my should be in the moment happy with the relationship " into someone who wants to be a fake and plastic dreamy cliched sounding starry eyed princess. all i [b][u]need and want[/u][/b] in a relationship is to have that beautiful intimate love