I Love Having A Special Connection
Today i am a little sad . I woke up full of energy - ate a big slice of cake did some morning chores and now ended back in bed and just want to hold my pillow and stay here today. But i know i cant because duty calls but perhaps i will just let myself be here for an hour or two.
I am not ready to jump into a relationship right now. I just want to live my life and the last couple of weeks that is what I've done - lived my life. ... But i met a wonderful person and in theory he is a perfect match. He is very smart, he is kind , he has the same interests and best of all .. he is stable and don't have an always interfering ex wife. I keep on telling him every time we go out that i just want to be friends. He says he understands it but lately have been saying : "thanks for reminding me . I know where you are - i will wait - i have been waiting a long time for someone like you!" I know he feels more - i can see it in the way he looks at me. I can see it in the small gestures . I can feel it in the way he hugs me. He says he is in no rush and I am worth waiting for. We have not kissed or made out but every time we meet i feel a little twinkle. He is tall and has very long arms and it makes me feel so safe. I am so tempted - i look at his lips and some days i want to give in.
My heart is so raw - the thing is i don't know if will ever trust again . Strange enough with him... there is something about him that is different. His wife cheated on him and it hurt him - i don't think he has it in him to hurt anybody especially not in that way. It is weird that i feel so safe when he is around. The chemistry is not quite there from my side and I am a little worried about that. Will it come? Chemistry has always been important in my opinion.
A couple of days back he said that i need to initiate contact if i want to see him again because he cannot keep on asking me and I keep saying no. Fair enough. - ... but I don't have a particular urge to contact him - that is also scary. See , I am a little confused.
Is this rebound?
I am a little sad because i know my last relationship messed me up. More than i was before. I am a little sad because I may miss this opportunity. He may be the one. I may miss the opportunity to be with ... the one.
I am not ready to jump into a relationship right now. I just want to live my life and the last couple of weeks that is what I've done - lived my life. ... But i met a wonderful person and in theory he is a perfect match. He is very smart, he is kind , he has the same interests and best of all .. he is stable and don't have an always interfering ex wife. I keep on telling him every time we go out that i just want to be friends. He says he understands it but lately have been saying : "thanks for reminding me . I know where you are - i will wait - i have been waiting a long time for someone like you!" I know he feels more - i can see it in the way he looks at me. I can see it in the small gestures . I can feel it in the way he hugs me. He says he is in no rush and I am worth waiting for. We have not kissed or made out but every time we meet i feel a little twinkle. He is tall and has very long arms and it makes me feel so safe. I am so tempted - i look at his lips and some days i want to give in.
My heart is so raw - the thing is i don't know if will ever trust again . Strange enough with him... there is something about him that is different. His wife cheated on him and it hurt him - i don't think he has it in him to hurt anybody especially not in that way. It is weird that i feel so safe when he is around. The chemistry is not quite there from my side and I am a little worried about that. Will it come? Chemistry has always been important in my opinion.
A couple of days back he said that i need to initiate contact if i want to see him again because he cannot keep on asking me and I keep saying no. Fair enough. - ... but I don't have a particular urge to contact him - that is also scary. See , I am a little confused.
Is this rebound?
I am a little sad because i know my last relationship messed me up. More than i was before. I am a little sad because I may miss this opportunity. He may be the one. I may miss the opportunity to be with ... the one.
46-50, F
