I Would Love To Write

I would love to write
about all the things that make me cry
about all the moments that bring me down
All the stuff I feel, I do, I say
punishments I dont deserve
repentance I pay
for loving and waiting
all day and night
eyes darting to phone
hands reaching for it on their own accord.

pay I must,
with tears and blood
for being stupid
dumb enough to care,
to love and to share
I wish I could reverse time
but this is all I remember,
I may be going through hell
would only remember the good times
after being dragged through rocks
jaded, burned and battered
why cant I just let go?
why cant I keep calm and carry on?