I Would Love To Write

I watch shocked as I see my world falling apart. Slowly, brick by brick everything I have created become undone. I watch horrified unable to stop the impending doom. I get more morbid during my time of month, my feelings out of hand. I pull at my hair, unable to comprehend. Why do I have to be so messed up? this isnt me!

Love is supposed to make me better, make me grow. And all I am seeing is a new low. Depths I never thought I would touch, or feel. Just hope the only way left is up.

But boy I am afraid, cz what I thought was temporary crush blew into a love affair. One so sinful and dark, it has consumed my soul. I try to fight the desire and the feeling of insecurity, but I lose the waging war. And it kills me a little inside everyday. Specially these days of the month. Cz I know its temporary, this phase, but it would do enough damage that would take ages to repair. And before I could settle, this would come again.

I pray to god above, everyday before I sleep, please let me be calm for him. Be what he deserve and desire, for I love him, even though its meant to be. He is the first and last person on my mind.