I Would Love To Write
I am high
For the first time in my life. I am actually HIGH. I cant even imagine being like this. I can finally relate to people getting high. Its is something. Probably something I would regret tomorrow. I lost count after 3 cosmos and 2 screwdrivers. I am strangely ecstatic. It has been a day full of learnings.
I rode a horse for the first time today. And I was told "you are a natural". That compliment made me happy for the first time in three days. As stupid as that sounds, I felt a little connection to the guy I love. Though he is away and doesn't probably even understand what it means, to do something that somebody you like, likes. It made me feel a little worthy of him. Well, enough about the feeling, More about the ride. Its something, the experience. Riding uphill, on a rocky terrain. We started off, three of us, and S was in front. It was scary. I found it difficult to even climb up the saddle, and the guide was giving me pitying looks, and rudely telling me to climb up properly. But then the trek uphill started, and my horse took over, and the guide commended on how well I am doing for a first timer. It gave me immense pleasure, and made me feel good.I thought to myself " Wow, I am not a total pushover". That's all that was on my mind. Him. He likes horses. And now I can relate.
There were times, when I lost my cool. Specially the first few minutes. I thought I am gonna fall and break my neck. And then there were times when the horse took off too fast, or trotted too far edge off the small dirt path, and I could glimpse the valley below. All I could think was, one false foot and I am going down, even my remains wont be found. Once I got off, I couldn't feel my legs, they were shaky. But once we started our journey backwards, I was leading our group and I didn't feel scared at all. I was adapting to the pace, the balance and feeling good. And when I got off, finally, and the guide said "perfect", all I could do was smile widely and stop myself from hugging him and scaring the poor guy.
It was an experience of a lifetime which I would probably have explained better if I weren't stoned. Only thing is, I can't share with the guy who was on my mind and reason I felt good about whole damned thing.
For the first time in my life. I am actually HIGH. I cant even imagine being like this. I can finally relate to people getting high. Its is something. Probably something I would regret tomorrow. I lost count after 3 cosmos and 2 screwdrivers. I am strangely ecstatic. It has been a day full of learnings.
I rode a horse for the first time today. And I was told "you are a natural". That compliment made me happy for the first time in three days. As stupid as that sounds, I felt a little connection to the guy I love. Though he is away and doesn't probably even understand what it means, to do something that somebody you like, likes. It made me feel a little worthy of him. Well, enough about the feeling, More about the ride. Its something, the experience. Riding uphill, on a rocky terrain. We started off, three of us, and S was in front. It was scary. I found it difficult to even climb up the saddle, and the guide was giving me pitying looks, and rudely telling me to climb up properly. But then the trek uphill started, and my horse took over, and the guide commended on how well I am doing for a first timer. It gave me immense pleasure, and made me feel good.I thought to myself " Wow, I am not a total pushover". That's all that was on my mind. Him. He likes horses. And now I can relate.
There were times, when I lost my cool. Specially the first few minutes. I thought I am gonna fall and break my neck. And then there were times when the horse took off too fast, or trotted too far edge off the small dirt path, and I could glimpse the valley below. All I could think was, one false foot and I am going down, even my remains wont be found. Once I got off, I couldn't feel my legs, they were shaky. But once we started our journey backwards, I was leading our group and I didn't feel scared at all. I was adapting to the pace, the balance and feeling good. And when I got off, finally, and the guide said "perfect", all I could do was smile widely and stop myself from hugging him and scaring the poor guy.
It was an experience of a lifetime which I would probably have explained better if I weren't stoned. Only thing is, I can't share with the guy who was on my mind and reason I felt good about whole damned thing.
31-35, F