I Would Love To Write
As always, I am unable to think of anything to write but myself. I am pretty self-centred, which I always assume I am not. Today I am going to write about two things that really I should learn and incorporate in my life, if I ever want to be happy.
The first thing is, as they say “expectation is root of all evil”. Evil and fights and unhappiness. I do have some very unrealistic expectations. Not just from myself but from everyone around me. Which is plain stupid. I expect everyone to lay their lives at my feet, as I would do for them. My best friend for example, I remember holding myself together for him, when he was having a hard time. Lending support and help, and now, he hasn’t spoken to me in ages, as he is busy. I don’t really mind most of the time, except somethings sometimes trigger feeling of loss or loneliness.
Another, is the guy I love. I do have very high expectations from him too. Though I never expect him to love me back, but I do expect him to be constant. Which is so very wrong of me. Just because he sent a good morning message every day, and dint from two days shouldn’t really matter. Nor should the fact that he forgot to do that right after telling me he wouldn’t ever forget me. I understand poor guy is busy, with his work and everything. I mean really when you are managing a firm, and have a bucket load to do, I cant expect him to have a minute to text. There are more important things in his life, work, family, friends. I am after all, an extension. A sick one at that who only nags and never understands. So today I will not nag about forgetting me, after all, love is about giving without expectations. Isn’t it? Besides, he would give me time when he has it, he has done that before. I should stop over expecting and thinking.
And the expectations my parents have from me. Well I am sure the only way I can make my mum happy is to learn how to walk on water, while juggling.
The other thing is the quote I read. It goes something like this “if you expect world to be fair with you because you are fair, you are fooling yourself. That’s like expecting a lion to not eat you cz you dint eat him”. When I read this for the first time, it stuck a chord deep inside me. I have always done this. Always told myself, I am being nice, so world would be nice to me. It has to be. After all that’s what I have been told since I was a kid. But that’s not how the world works, just cz you are genuine and gullible doesn’t meant world wouldn’t walk all over you like a rug. I don’t know when I will change, but I really have to take this to heart. And god knows how and when I will.
The first thing is, as they say “expectation is root of all evil”. Evil and fights and unhappiness. I do have some very unrealistic expectations. Not just from myself but from everyone around me. Which is plain stupid. I expect everyone to lay their lives at my feet, as I would do for them. My best friend for example, I remember holding myself together for him, when he was having a hard time. Lending support and help, and now, he hasn’t spoken to me in ages, as he is busy. I don’t really mind most of the time, except somethings sometimes trigger feeling of loss or loneliness.
Another, is the guy I love. I do have very high expectations from him too. Though I never expect him to love me back, but I do expect him to be constant. Which is so very wrong of me. Just because he sent a good morning message every day, and dint from two days shouldn’t really matter. Nor should the fact that he forgot to do that right after telling me he wouldn’t ever forget me. I understand poor guy is busy, with his work and everything. I mean really when you are managing a firm, and have a bucket load to do, I cant expect him to have a minute to text. There are more important things in his life, work, family, friends. I am after all, an extension. A sick one at that who only nags and never understands. So today I will not nag about forgetting me, after all, love is about giving without expectations. Isn’t it? Besides, he would give me time when he has it, he has done that before. I should stop over expecting and thinking.
And the expectations my parents have from me. Well I am sure the only way I can make my mum happy is to learn how to walk on water, while juggling.
The other thing is the quote I read. It goes something like this “if you expect world to be fair with you because you are fair, you are fooling yourself. That’s like expecting a lion to not eat you cz you dint eat him”. When I read this for the first time, it stuck a chord deep inside me. I have always done this. Always told myself, I am being nice, so world would be nice to me. It has to be. After all that’s what I have been told since I was a kid. But that’s not how the world works, just cz you are genuine and gullible doesn’t meant world wouldn’t walk all over you like a rug. I don’t know when I will change, but I really have to take this to heart. And god knows how and when I will.
31-35, F