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I Am a Caregiver

I actually enjoyed caring for my great grandmother before she passed. She was in heart failure and had dementia but even on her bad days it wasn't so bad. Fulfilling in it's own way. Hard though, emotionally. We watched and nursed her as she died. That was difficult for all of us. But we all loved her as well, and happily made sacrifices for her care.

I struggle to feel the same way about my great grandfather. I have lost all respect for him since he came into our home. He told his wife on her deathbed that he regretted marrying her, threw constant fits because he wasn't the center of attention. Tried shoving my mother when she asked him not to do something, then threw himself backwards claiming she pushed him, he broke his hip. She did not push him, I was there for that. Accused her of killing my grandmother. Also did not happen. My mother and I worked very hard to keep her as happy as possible and as healthy as could be considering. She lived 3 years past when we were told she would die. He would have let her die. He got into an argument with my great grandmother's oldest daughter, tried to stab her with a kitchen knife. And so much more.

He is here because he and his wife, my wonderful great grandmother, raised my father. He feels obligated to care for him. I feel he should not be here.

I worry about my moms health. All he brings is more stress for her, she's already trying to raise two other children of her own. He instigates and she can't walk away. She hates him, I'm surprised she hasn't kicked him out yet. But she does this for my father. And I help for both of them. So they can give more attention to my siblings instead of him taking up all of their time. He does require 24 hour care.

He is not abused in any way. He may not be happy that he has a total of three rules to follow: don't stand up unless someone is with you. don't spit in cups. don't piss in cups. But he is cared for. We make special food according to his diet, take him to countless doctor appointments. Buy him whatever he asks for. (he doesn't ask for much, just movies) He is well taken care of.

That doesn't make it easier. It's to a point where my mother and I actually wish for his death. He is not our family. We do not love him. But dad does. And he is his family. So here we are.
Pfuzylogic · M
You still take good care of him despite your personal feelings. He is very fortunate.

 
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