I Had a Bad Day
As I went to pick my kids from my ex wife yesterday afternoon , I reminded my son that he had to hand over his choice of GCSE subjects tomorrow at school. I had a look through it with him this on Monday and I had texted my ex the results of that conversation so she can have a say. But she never replied. So this afternoon after I asked my son about his choice and as I wait outside the house I hear my ex wife , her boyfriend and my son discussing it away from me. And I hear them talking about putting triple science on the list, when his science teacher told us he hasn’t quite the level for that. And I also hear them talking about him not taking French, when we, both his parents are French. I interject them as they are discussing all this without me although I stand only a few meters away (It has been made clear to me that I am not welcome to step in the house when I come to collect my children). My ex on top of not having followed up on my messages to her reporting what was discussed between our son and I, is discussing those same things with her boyfriend, she decided my son needed triple science as he wants to do robotics and says that biology is needed for the Nano technology. I point out that his teacher advised against him taking biology and that on the other hand he is likely to do very well in French due to our fluency. I get rebuked on both matters. She agues that her boyfriend who works in IT has recommended that my son chooses triple science. I reply that this is against his science teachers' recommendation and that her boyfriend shouldn’t interfere in a matter that concerns us as parents.
On that my ex’s boyfriend appears in the door frame and his body language expresses something about weighing in the conversation. I interject him and say to him, “You don’t even say hello to me when you see me, you avoid me And yet you feel entitled to have a say in my son’s choices. I think you should step back.” He replies that he is only advising. I tell him angrily that he has no place interfering in my children’s education. That it is a matter for their mother and I to discuss. He then moves right in front of me, inches from my face, and tells me that as my ex’s boyfriend he has all the rights to get involved.
I reply to him: “But You are not his father, I am.” He continues telling me that I do not understand the meaning of divorce. I reply that having divorced my ex has in no way undermined my role as a father and that he has no place stepping in. As I was agitated, I was moving my hands as I speak. He then goes on telling me to lower my hands as it is threatening, whilst still standing inches from my face. He then tells me to look at him in the eyes as he speaks to me. I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable, being physically intimidated by someone who is only my ex’s boyfriend. I pointed to him that his body language was threatening as was his standing in my face. That I want to discuss my son’s subject choices with my ex and that he has no place standing between us. My ex all the while says nothing. He stood there in my face some long moments. In the end I had to leave only being able to repeat “You are not his father I am” .
I didn’t want to push him away or try to continue speaking with my ex as he obviously had decided to interfere in a physically threatening manner. So tonight I feel angry that I am being shut out of important choices for my son by someone who acts like a bully.
I was bullied as a child and feel very uncomfortable with the whole situation.
My ex deliberately alienating me from decisions on our children's education.
He new man feeling he can intimidate me in a physical manner and interfere in my children's upbringing.
It makes me dishearten.
On that my ex’s boyfriend appears in the door frame and his body language expresses something about weighing in the conversation. I interject him and say to him, “You don’t even say hello to me when you see me, you avoid me And yet you feel entitled to have a say in my son’s choices. I think you should step back.” He replies that he is only advising. I tell him angrily that he has no place interfering in my children’s education. That it is a matter for their mother and I to discuss. He then moves right in front of me, inches from my face, and tells me that as my ex’s boyfriend he has all the rights to get involved.
I reply to him: “But You are not his father, I am.” He continues telling me that I do not understand the meaning of divorce. I reply that having divorced my ex has in no way undermined my role as a father and that he has no place stepping in. As I was agitated, I was moving my hands as I speak. He then goes on telling me to lower my hands as it is threatening, whilst still standing inches from my face. He then tells me to look at him in the eyes as he speaks to me. I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable, being physically intimidated by someone who is only my ex’s boyfriend. I pointed to him that his body language was threatening as was his standing in my face. That I want to discuss my son’s subject choices with my ex and that he has no place standing between us. My ex all the while says nothing. He stood there in my face some long moments. In the end I had to leave only being able to repeat “You are not his father I am” .
I didn’t want to push him away or try to continue speaking with my ex as he obviously had decided to interfere in a physically threatening manner. So tonight I feel angry that I am being shut out of important choices for my son by someone who acts like a bully.
I was bullied as a child and feel very uncomfortable with the whole situation.
My ex deliberately alienating me from decisions on our children's education.
He new man feeling he can intimidate me in a physical manner and interfere in my children's upbringing.
It makes me dishearten.
