I Give People What They Want
I don't really, but I cannot find a group to post this in and this is the most relevant one.
It is incredibly hard to have something and go back to not having it. The brain becomes dependent on those chemical releases, the highs. Video games, sex, porn, social media, youtube and many more all do this. The have rewards schemes, they break the challenge into manageable bites and then reward you for each stage.
In my own life I see it when I try to study. I get distracted so easily. I have built a habit of distraction and reduced will power. I used to be very self disciplined and have great will power. I could stay on task for hours on end and resist the desires of my mind. But these days I am weak willed. I give into the whims and desires passing through my mind.
Things I should do:
*Save money
*Eat Healthy
*Study
*Work out
*Get projects done
*Clean the house
Things I actually do:
*Spend on things I don't really need because they are convenient
*Eat candy because it is so easy to get
*Waste time on video games and youtube because they have an easier payoff that is quicker
*Watch tv shows
*Get overwhelmed by all the things I have put off
When I was younger I was focused and disciplined. So how did I get here? It happened slowly. I discovered all these quick pay off distractions that are meaningless in the long run but pleasurable in the short. They require very little effort or investment and take a huge toll. Slowly I began turning to these escapes quicker and more often. It started with digital entertainment, but once my willpower was eroded there it started to erode in other areas. I started to spend money where before I saved. I started to give in to the foods that tasted good where before I ate healthy. I started to shirk responsibility where before I embraced it.
Now as I try to take back control of myself and my life the question becomes how to rebuild that will power and that focus. I think the first step is setting goals. Going this long without giving in to that. Avoiding that thing that is distracting. But also setting goals of what I want. I want to have that cut body, what do I have to do to get there? I have to eat healthy and work out. I want to have good grades, what do I have to do to get there? Study the material, do practice problems. These are very general and high level goals with slow payoffs. So how do I rebuild my will to pursue them and stay away from the short term payoffs? I have to bring it to a lower level. I need to exercise will power and control in any area that I can. Pick not eating the candy over eating. With that moment decide to study instead of goof of. Even if at first it is just putting off the candy for 10 minutes. I have built up my will power. Next time it is 15 minutes. until I am not eating it at all.
It is incredibly hard to have something and go back to not having it. The brain becomes dependent on those chemical releases, the highs. Video games, sex, porn, social media, youtube and many more all do this. The have rewards schemes, they break the challenge into manageable bites and then reward you for each stage.
In my own life I see it when I try to study. I get distracted so easily. I have built a habit of distraction and reduced will power. I used to be very self disciplined and have great will power. I could stay on task for hours on end and resist the desires of my mind. But these days I am weak willed. I give into the whims and desires passing through my mind.
Things I should do:
*Save money
*Eat Healthy
*Study
*Work out
*Get projects done
*Clean the house
Things I actually do:
*Spend on things I don't really need because they are convenient
*Eat candy because it is so easy to get
*Waste time on video games and youtube because they have an easier payoff that is quicker
*Watch tv shows
*Get overwhelmed by all the things I have put off
When I was younger I was focused and disciplined. So how did I get here? It happened slowly. I discovered all these quick pay off distractions that are meaningless in the long run but pleasurable in the short. They require very little effort or investment and take a huge toll. Slowly I began turning to these escapes quicker and more often. It started with digital entertainment, but once my willpower was eroded there it started to erode in other areas. I started to spend money where before I saved. I started to give in to the foods that tasted good where before I ate healthy. I started to shirk responsibility where before I embraced it.
Now as I try to take back control of myself and my life the question becomes how to rebuild that will power and that focus. I think the first step is setting goals. Going this long without giving in to that. Avoiding that thing that is distracting. But also setting goals of what I want. I want to have that cut body, what do I have to do to get there? I have to eat healthy and work out. I want to have good grades, what do I have to do to get there? Study the material, do practice problems. These are very general and high level goals with slow payoffs. So how do I rebuild my will to pursue them and stay away from the short term payoffs? I have to bring it to a lower level. I need to exercise will power and control in any area that I can. Pick not eating the candy over eating. With that moment decide to study instead of goof of. Even if at first it is just putting off the candy for 10 minutes. I have built up my will power. Next time it is 15 minutes. until I am not eating it at all.
