I'm Ready For Change
For 5 years I've put my heart and soul in a company I have built up from scratch with my best friend. It was a tough start but we were ambitious, driven and sure that it would lead to something we would be proud of. We weren't looking for fame or wealth it was a way for us to do what we love to do. Creating our own chances and opportunities.
We had a slow start but it got better each year and the projects got bigger, better and more challenging. But right around our fifth year our friendship was challenged and it did not survive. And I know the saying "don't do business with friends or family" but the reason it did not survive had nothing to do with our business and working together wasn't all that bad, we had fun to be honest. But moving on... our last project was our biggest yet so we kind of stopped at our high, if it's even considered a high (well, it was for us). Our friendship ended and the company ended all in one day and I had hardly a say in this so it was over in a bl<x>ink of an eye.
That same day I was travelling back home completly lost for words and trying to let it all sink in. I remember thinking "what just happend?" and all sort of different emotions went through my mind. I wandered around the house like a silent zombie for a week thinking what I should do and if I want to continue the company by myself (he left the company as a co-owner and left it all to me to figure it out) and I realise that the name of the company, all it's work it has produced and even all the equipment we invested in all these years had emotional value attached to it. Using it and doing the work we normally do together would only feel wrong or bittersweet, if you know what I mean.
But holding a camera is still my passion and I won't give that up so I just needed to re-invent the projects.... So I figured, we used to produce music videos together but at this point it does not feel right to continue doing it by myself, at least not for the next coming year, it just hold too much memories and emotions. So for now I will retire from that but I will just use this opportunity to do things that wasn't approved before. I had over the years so many ideas for tv-series but timewise it was never doable. Also it was never approved by my friend so now that he's not a part of this anymore I could give it a shot, I still believe in the idea.
And just recently I put those thoughts into action. I slowly started to warm up for the idea of changing and shifting my ways. But I move slowly, the company and it's original idea started 10 years ago just as long as our friendship so I haven't made any business decisions for myself ever. I was always bound to another person and I had to get permission to do certain projects so it felt weird to decide for myself for the first time. But I slowly am getting used to it and just when you dare to allow yourself to think "I am ready for change" after this rough patch.....
Your phone rings and a company calls to say that I can start working full time as a video-director (my dream job) but that I have to leave my life here and move to a different country...............
Panic! Too much change in too little time!! I am not readyy.....
We had a slow start but it got better each year and the projects got bigger, better and more challenging. But right around our fifth year our friendship was challenged and it did not survive. And I know the saying "don't do business with friends or family" but the reason it did not survive had nothing to do with our business and working together wasn't all that bad, we had fun to be honest. But moving on... our last project was our biggest yet so we kind of stopped at our high, if it's even considered a high (well, it was for us). Our friendship ended and the company ended all in one day and I had hardly a say in this so it was over in a bl<x>ink of an eye.
That same day I was travelling back home completly lost for words and trying to let it all sink in. I remember thinking "what just happend?" and all sort of different emotions went through my mind. I wandered around the house like a silent zombie for a week thinking what I should do and if I want to continue the company by myself (he left the company as a co-owner and left it all to me to figure it out) and I realise that the name of the company, all it's work it has produced and even all the equipment we invested in all these years had emotional value attached to it. Using it and doing the work we normally do together would only feel wrong or bittersweet, if you know what I mean.
But holding a camera is still my passion and I won't give that up so I just needed to re-invent the projects.... So I figured, we used to produce music videos together but at this point it does not feel right to continue doing it by myself, at least not for the next coming year, it just hold too much memories and emotions. So for now I will retire from that but I will just use this opportunity to do things that wasn't approved before. I had over the years so many ideas for tv-series but timewise it was never doable. Also it was never approved by my friend so now that he's not a part of this anymore I could give it a shot, I still believe in the idea.
And just recently I put those thoughts into action. I slowly started to warm up for the idea of changing and shifting my ways. But I move slowly, the company and it's original idea started 10 years ago just as long as our friendship so I haven't made any business decisions for myself ever. I was always bound to another person and I had to get permission to do certain projects so it felt weird to decide for myself for the first time. But I slowly am getting used to it and just when you dare to allow yourself to think "I am ready for change" after this rough patch.....
Your phone rings and a company calls to say that I can start working full time as a video-director (my dream job) but that I have to leave my life here and move to a different country...............
Panic! Too much change in too little time!! I am not readyy.....
41-45, M