I Am a Dad
So I'm sorry I haven't been posting much, I've gone back to work recently and I haven't been able to get on to blog. My schedule basically consists of, get up at 5am, get Lucas up, get him dressed take him to day care, got to work get off at 6 pick luke up, make dinner, feed him, bathe him and put him to bed. I'm not complaining, just you can see why I haven't had the time to update recently haha.
So the reason I can do it today, I get today off, we got more than three inches of snow where we live, plus some freezing rain, then it plummeted back down to -9 degrees last night, no joke. We live in the northwest Rocky Mountains so it's not uncommon to get a lot of snow but at the same time not often to get this much, anyway my boss emailed everyone and told them, that multiple people complained about their cars not being able to start due to the freezing weather, including his and he just emailed everyone and said to take today off. So here we are.
Update: Lucas has been having much less seizure activity in the last week, he is still unable to move his legs and torso, but he is able to move his arms more freely and head and neck. He still doesnt have much control of his jaw muscle, I know this because he still drools a bit and can't eat food properly, I have to feed him through a tube every now and then. He's been learning to speak and when he does it sounds kind a bit airy, but he can say yeah, so I'm proud of him. He's been gaining a bit more consciousness, the doctors said he more than likely will ever be the same, and that he'll be In this kind of disabling state for the rest of his life, but I believe he might one day pull through, he's strong and a fighter, and doctors have said that about plenty of people numerous times and have been proven wrong, So I just keep supporting him, but in the meantime, he's been showing more happiness and affection than I've seen in a entire year. He's laughing for once, he lets me hold his hand, sometimes in the middle of the night I'll wake up and he's laying on my chest with his arms spread out like he's trying to hug me, he must feel safe with me, he doesn't usually like showing that kind of vulnerability, so I just hold him and it makes me happy that he feels safe with me, also when he does that, I feel this insane amount of love and, it's nice to feel that for once.
For New Years, Lucas and I had pizza for dinner, and we fell asleep by 10, Lucas was too tired and I didn't want him going into another seizure so I lied him down in my bed and just rubbed his back and sure enough he fell asleep, and I decided to go to bed as well. I mean, what are we missing really? The next day, him and I did some errands, yes there were places open on the first. We had lunch together at Burger King, and the rest of the day we just watched movies, well he did I watch a little with him, I also cleaned up. His doctor at the hospital has given him these pacifier things for him to bite on, like to relieve stress or something about the texture and rubber material lowers tension and is supposed to help him relax, cause this whole thing happened after he was released from the hospital after trying to kill himself, and he was pretty traumatized and angry and it was the emotional distress that built up so much it came out in a violent seizure, Sonia neurologist gave me a couple of pacifiers thingies and told me to see how he's doing. I think it's been keeping him calm cause after he gave them to Luke, the seizures calmed down, remember it's just for emotional relief. A lady approached me a couple days ago and threatened to call CPS cause i was allowing my teenage son to suck on a binky. If it helps him, then I'm not going to take it away. His therapist gave him a few too after I explained to him how it's been working. I found an old teddy bear from when he was little and he's been holding on to that thing since New Year's Eve.
He loves it when I rub his back, he can't get enough of it, it's very soothing for him, spongebob has had him laughing not stop so I've been putting old videos of it on for him, I missed the sound of him laughing and just having fun. I really did. He always said I hate laughter and fun, that wasn't true, I was always trying to make him laugh, also what he found "fun," most people would call dangerous and stupid, he's 16, you know how they are, he thought he knew everything.
I've Been getting better at changing him. I really lost hang of it in the past 12 1/2 years since Hes been potty trained. Then again he wasn't this big when he was almost 3, so it takes a little work. I don't mind it though, it's kind of like when he was just little. At the same time I hope he recovers.
A couple of boys from his school came to see him the the hospital before New Years, they talked to him and watched tv with him. He was happy, and then a couple days ago, a girl from school came to see him during his monitoring appointment and read to him a little, and just told him how much everyone at school misses him. I knew he had friends, he's a very likable boy, he's just very shy and insecure.
That's pretty much it thanks for reading
So the reason I can do it today, I get today off, we got more than three inches of snow where we live, plus some freezing rain, then it plummeted back down to -9 degrees last night, no joke. We live in the northwest Rocky Mountains so it's not uncommon to get a lot of snow but at the same time not often to get this much, anyway my boss emailed everyone and told them, that multiple people complained about their cars not being able to start due to the freezing weather, including his and he just emailed everyone and said to take today off. So here we are.
Update: Lucas has been having much less seizure activity in the last week, he is still unable to move his legs and torso, but he is able to move his arms more freely and head and neck. He still doesnt have much control of his jaw muscle, I know this because he still drools a bit and can't eat food properly, I have to feed him through a tube every now and then. He's been learning to speak and when he does it sounds kind a bit airy, but he can say yeah, so I'm proud of him. He's been gaining a bit more consciousness, the doctors said he more than likely will ever be the same, and that he'll be In this kind of disabling state for the rest of his life, but I believe he might one day pull through, he's strong and a fighter, and doctors have said that about plenty of people numerous times and have been proven wrong, So I just keep supporting him, but in the meantime, he's been showing more happiness and affection than I've seen in a entire year. He's laughing for once, he lets me hold his hand, sometimes in the middle of the night I'll wake up and he's laying on my chest with his arms spread out like he's trying to hug me, he must feel safe with me, he doesn't usually like showing that kind of vulnerability, so I just hold him and it makes me happy that he feels safe with me, also when he does that, I feel this insane amount of love and, it's nice to feel that for once.
For New Years, Lucas and I had pizza for dinner, and we fell asleep by 10, Lucas was too tired and I didn't want him going into another seizure so I lied him down in my bed and just rubbed his back and sure enough he fell asleep, and I decided to go to bed as well. I mean, what are we missing really? The next day, him and I did some errands, yes there were places open on the first. We had lunch together at Burger King, and the rest of the day we just watched movies, well he did I watch a little with him, I also cleaned up. His doctor at the hospital has given him these pacifier things for him to bite on, like to relieve stress or something about the texture and rubber material lowers tension and is supposed to help him relax, cause this whole thing happened after he was released from the hospital after trying to kill himself, and he was pretty traumatized and angry and it was the emotional distress that built up so much it came out in a violent seizure, Sonia neurologist gave me a couple of pacifiers thingies and told me to see how he's doing. I think it's been keeping him calm cause after he gave them to Luke, the seizures calmed down, remember it's just for emotional relief. A lady approached me a couple days ago and threatened to call CPS cause i was allowing my teenage son to suck on a binky. If it helps him, then I'm not going to take it away. His therapist gave him a few too after I explained to him how it's been working. I found an old teddy bear from when he was little and he's been holding on to that thing since New Year's Eve.
He loves it when I rub his back, he can't get enough of it, it's very soothing for him, spongebob has had him laughing not stop so I've been putting old videos of it on for him, I missed the sound of him laughing and just having fun. I really did. He always said I hate laughter and fun, that wasn't true, I was always trying to make him laugh, also what he found "fun," most people would call dangerous and stupid, he's 16, you know how they are, he thought he knew everything.
I've Been getting better at changing him. I really lost hang of it in the past 12 1/2 years since Hes been potty trained. Then again he wasn't this big when he was almost 3, so it takes a little work. I don't mind it though, it's kind of like when he was just little. At the same time I hope he recovers.
A couple of boys from his school came to see him the the hospital before New Years, they talked to him and watched tv with him. He was happy, and then a couple days ago, a girl from school came to see him during his monitoring appointment and read to him a little, and just told him how much everyone at school misses him. I knew he had friends, he's a very likable boy, he's just very shy and insecure.
That's pretty much it thanks for reading
36-40, M
