I Think My Husband Is a Total Jerk

@MissSimpleMind bipolar

It can be quite the rollercoaster, huh? I came out of a miserable marriage about five years ago. My ex was diagnosed with schizophrenia after our divorce. Marriage was hard - really hard. I didn't know why at the time, but looking back and learning more about the disorder, it all makes sense. Matter of fact, I use to have a secret EP account in which I would express my frustrations about my marriage on an almost weekly basis. That was about the only coping mechanism I had. It was therapeutic, but even that couldn't save my marriage. I was emotionally drained and I came to realize that if I was going to live a long happy healthy life and also provide a happy life for my children ... I had to leave. That was the best decision I've ever made. I'm remarried now to an absolute wonderful man. It's crazy to think that I once thought "Okay, this is what marriage is - it's not supposed to be perfect". I would say that to myself to justify being in such a terrible relationship. I was stubborn. I didn't want to be a statistic and I sacrificed my own mental health plus the well-being of my children to keep that pride (for 11 years). I'm here to tell you though, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. It's not your job to try to fix it. You can't fix it. You either completely accept him for who he is and the heartache it causes you or you leave and protect your own mental health. There's really no in-between. It takes a very special someone to stay in a marriage with someone with mental issues - and anyone who wants to throw criticisms at those who turn their back to their vows obviously have never been in that position because I assure you, if they had been ... they'd be far more compassionate and understanding of any decision you might make. It's the most emotionally draining, heart-breaking, soul-crushing hopeless position one can be in. I will pray for you.

Bless your heart. Thank you. It is nice to know that I'm not alone. It can feel very lonely at times. Soul-crushing is a very accurate way to describe it.

It definitely feels lonely when you're in the midst of it, but you're not alone. If you ever need to chat, drop me a line!

@MissSimpleMind That's what I love about SW. Real people who live these hard lives and give valuable advice and feedback. Bravo for you knowing what you needed and deserved. And to a new happy life. I think it is on women to stop believing they have to suffer in unhappy marriages or long-term relationships because they have invested time. Time means nothing if one keeps suffering and is unhappy and suffering health problems including depression, and more serious maladies related to these relationships. It is time for women and for men to start thinking of themselves. Putting their welfare and happiness first. And stop wasting their lives and their time. Bravo.