I Won't Give Up
I didn't give up when I was the only one changing in a room full of 'normal' people.
I didn't give up when I noticed I was different.
I didn't give up when I got depression.
I didn't give up when I knew it's not kids' games but real school bullying.
I didn't give up when I got my first panic attack and very soon the second one as well.
I didn't give up when I was left alone in a kitchen with a knife.
I didn't give up when I noticed I'm too fat for this society.
I didn't give up when I noticed I'm too much different and can't anyhow fit it.
I didn't give up when I myself started crushing, falling down, crying, ripping over my skin, sinking my short nails deeply into it and leaving marks all over my body whilst screaming.
I didn't give up when I was left alone with my own problems, while I was surrounded by those who called themselves my friends, by my family who looked at me like I was an alien that fell down from the sky.
And so I decided to never give up. So my life won't be perfect as others is on social networks, but will be perfect for me and those in it. I decided I won't give up, so I could show others I'm 'okay' without their little what-they-called help, so I could find my own peace. I decided to be one of the best students, one of the best daughters, one of the best mothers, aunts, grandmothers, one of the best friends. But before that, I will aim to be one of the best humans this world ever had; with all my little faults, all my unrealistic problems, all my loneliness and at the same time independence. And I won't give up. Ever.
I didn't give up when I noticed I was different.
I didn't give up when I got depression.
I didn't give up when I knew it's not kids' games but real school bullying.
I didn't give up when I got my first panic attack and very soon the second one as well.
I didn't give up when I was left alone in a kitchen with a knife.
I didn't give up when I noticed I'm too fat for this society.
I didn't give up when I noticed I'm too much different and can't anyhow fit it.
I didn't give up when I myself started crushing, falling down, crying, ripping over my skin, sinking my short nails deeply into it and leaving marks all over my body whilst screaming.
I didn't give up when I was left alone with my own problems, while I was surrounded by those who called themselves my friends, by my family who looked at me like I was an alien that fell down from the sky.
And so I decided to never give up. So my life won't be perfect as others is on social networks, but will be perfect for me and those in it. I decided I won't give up, so I could show others I'm 'okay' without their little what-they-called help, so I could find my own peace. I decided to be one of the best students, one of the best daughters, one of the best mothers, aunts, grandmothers, one of the best friends. But before that, I will aim to be one of the best humans this world ever had; with all my little faults, all my unrealistic problems, all my loneliness and at the same time independence. And I won't give up. Ever.
