I'm tired and I want to give up.

A year ago I quit my warehouse job because I physically couldn't keep up. My heart would beat too fast, I would get dizzy and have sharp pains. Fast forward to today and I still get the same symptoms. I'm now a nanny for a 1 year old baby girl but I struggle to keep up. I can't eat anything with lots of carbs, can't have caffeine or lots of sugar, and I can't over do it with exercise. I'm good for walking and light swimming but that's about it. I meet my 3rd new doctor in a week. My 1st doctor caught random episodes of racing heart but brushed me off and my 2nd I lost due to moving so I haven't been officially diagnosed with anything.

I'm beyond tired. I'm frustrated. I'm becoming bitter. My whole life is so different than from before my illness. I miss out on events if they are too physical. I can't enjoy the foods and drinks I once did. I don't drink anymore. I know my next appointment is close but I've been so disappointed and on days like today I want to be done with everything. I don't even know if I'd consider this living or just surviving.