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I Wish I Had Someone To Comfort Me

I can't stand to see anyone in pain. I seem to put myself in their shoes and feel what they would be feeling. I'm like an emotional sponge. Wish I could control it or turn it off sometimes. Even watching the news makes me feel down. Sad events will stick in my head for hours or days.

When someone around me is upset, especially someone I care for, I will not turn a blind eye to it. As long as they want to talk, I will listen. Sometimes people just want someone caring and patient just to listen and be there.

Every day in life we get the question "How are you?" or statements such as "Have a good day". How often do you feel that the people that say these things to you actually mean them? What if people answered honestly? Instead of just saying "I'm good" or whatnot? That would really freak someone out, wouldn't it? What would happen if people really told the truth on a bad day? You’d receive a look that says "Oh shit, now what do I say?”

I realize that there is a time and place for everything. We cannot go around wearing our hearts and feelings on our sleeves. Perhaps it's not the time or place. Even the smallest of insignificant gestures can mean the world to someone, sometimes without a word being said.

Most of the time I’m reserved around others and keep a lot to myself. I don't believe I'm an over-emotional or needy person at all. I'm not made of stone though. I have feelings too.

I listen and listen and listen to others...patiently listen. The very few times I attempt to talk to someone I get cut off, talked over. It's always back to them. I know it's my problem for expecting people to give the same kind of attention that I do. Just having expectations at all is setting me up for disappointment. Although I logically know this and should know better, I still feel let down when I feel that no one cares.

I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders for a long time. Always had to take care of myself. Having some major issues going on for the last year with my child. My stress level is through the roof and some nights I'm so heartbroken over this that I wish I would not wake up. Sometimes I lay on the floor with my cat and stare up at the ceiling and just cry. My kitty will put his paw on me sometimes, other times he wants to play and will try to bite me in the face 😄.

There is no one. I listen to every one, I remember things that people tell me and ask about them periodically because I care. I could tell someone I was having chest pains and they'd change the subject only to never be brought up again.

Most days I am fine with this. Like I said, I shouldn't expect anything, that where my problem lies..

There are times in private that I will lose my shit over things that aren't really that bad. It seems to be getting worse over time. It's like I'm running on empty all the time. Just barely making it by seeking solace for myself in whatever way I can to keep going.

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. It's the way of the world it seems. Me personally, I can't go on like this forever. I won't. It will kill me someday.

Damn, this is a long story.. Not looking for advice or anything really. Just needed to write this for me. For those feeling the same way, my heart goes out to you. Not everyone has a huge support system. Reach out to those in need. You never know when it will be you..
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Hugs.. Cats are nice and lots of people do care.. But they don't interfere.. It's true tho that most "how do you do"s are just casual greetings and not invites to psychological spills.. But there are some who will listen..

Sometimes be break over little things because it's just a last straw on other major issues..

It can get better tho.. Chin up.. But don't be afraid to cry.. It happens to us all.. Usually
callmecrazy · 46-50, F
Thank you for taking the time to reply Mrsgearhead ☺️. Yes, cats are great aren't they? You hit the nail on the head with it being the "last straw". That is it! I was afraid I'd get condescending or invalidating comments. I don't want pity, just needed to write how I feel. Your comments are greatly appreciated!!
You're welcome.. I don't often read long posts but yours was heartfelt So I gave it the time of day.. :) hope things get better for you soon :) hugs

And I adore my cat.. He's bossy but cute :)