I Want to Make Some Lasting Friendships

I believed I had friends who turned out to be acquaintances because I realized we rarely spent time together in person and we communicated more on Facebook and/or smart phone messages than in person. The positive was I learned the difference between acquaintances and friendships. We don’t automatically become friends with our classmates, co-workers, neighbors, or former classmates. In order to become friends, we have to spend time with them out of context (somewhere outside the environment we usually interact with them such as the mall, cinema, tea shop, amusement park, concert, or social event place). Additionally, we have to become comfortable talking to each other about the current environment and some non-invasive information about ourselves then get to know each other a bit more by talking about our opinions. Subsequently, we talk about deeper topics such as our fears, dreams, feelings, past, and future. These conversations take place over a long period of time—months or years of opening up slowly. Sometimes we’ll have light hearted topics--funny. Other times we’ll have heart to heart topics--serious. We can’t be friends with everyone because we have different standards of who to befriend. Sometimes some of us don’t want to add more friends to our circle of friendships because we don’t have the energy to handle more people. Our close friends are people we spend more time with, talk more with, and have deeper conversations with. Casual friends are people we spend less time with, talk less with, and have superficial conversations with. Acquaintances are people we spend more or less time with, talk more or less with, and have superficial conversations with. Before we become friends with others, we get to know them first before we decide if we like them. In order to be friends, we both have to agree to be friends by saying it out loud, otherwise Person A thinks that he or she is friends with Person B while Person B thinks that he or she is an acquaintance to Person A. Just as dating before both people decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, or girlfriend and girlfriend is necessary, getting to know each other before deciding to be friends is necessary. We can’t be close friends after one day, the same as not being a couple after one day or marrying someone the next day. We need time to learn about each other before we make a commitment to a close friendship, exclusive dating companion (romantic partner), or marriage companion. Also, friendships, marriages, and romantic relationships don't always last. People change, which means their needs and wants also change; hence, their friends or romantic partners no longer fit or match their standards—the kind of friends or romantic partners they’re looking for is different, has changed.