I Am So Tired Of Crying
I Am Not A Cry Baby... I spend much of my time ignoring my feelings so that I don't cry. This sounds great except every once in awhile it catches up with me and then "oy!!! the waterworks!"
I went to see my daughter at college this weekend. It was very nice to see her again. I forget however how much i miss her. I spent the first evening watching a terrible basketball game. it was one of those losses that is painful to watch when you aren't related to one of the pla<x>yers but my baby girl i knew was feeling terrible and my heart really went out to her. It is after all just a game but I know how hard she and her team mates work and i know how much they hate to lose.
We spent a little time after the game together. I bought her dinner and a smoothie. She spent some time with her little brother giggling and making fun of each other. Then they played paper football with not paper but a piece of bread left on the table.
it was actually a relief to see her dorm room and her friends. I was worried about how she was adjusting. She didn't like her room mate at first and I was concerned but I just kept my mouth shut and prayed and just knew deep down that she would work it all out.
I had all these emotions from the time that she left for college. I spent the summer watching her come and go and tried to practice separating myself from her. I spent so much time letting her go that when she actually left i thought I was okay with it. I always say after all that I don't want them living with me the rest of my life. i don't sit at home crying because i miss her. i actually think very little about it. We don't talk every day but a couple times a week she'll call or text or I'll see something really funny that i think she might laugh at and i'll tell her about it but not often.
So, it took me by complete surprise as we dropped her off at her dorm the first night before her curfew that i started to just ball my head off. Uncontrollable sobs and tears and I couldn't help myself. My son sat next to me obviously uncomfortable and confused because we would be seeing her again the next day. He was a really good boy and took my advice about what to do when he sees a girl crying. So he just sat there with me quietly and let me hold his hand. Then i started crying harder because I was so proud that he actually listened to something I said and did it.
I spent the rest of the weekend doing her laundry. I wanted to clean her room but the best I could do was tidy it up and put clean sheets on the bed.I bought her warm clothes and makeup. We tried to get her a hair cut but it was Sunday. I didn't want to leave her. The place was empty and she had been fighting on the phone with her dad(ahole). I was very sick and could've stayed but after some pepto bismol and a nap on the fresh bedding, I finally took off. And yes again i was in my car crying, son uncomfortable but doing as I had told him for a change.
I went to see my daughter at college this weekend. It was very nice to see her again. I forget however how much i miss her. I spent the first evening watching a terrible basketball game. it was one of those losses that is painful to watch when you aren't related to one of the pla<x>yers but my baby girl i knew was feeling terrible and my heart really went out to her. It is after all just a game but I know how hard she and her team mates work and i know how much they hate to lose.
We spent a little time after the game together. I bought her dinner and a smoothie. She spent some time with her little brother giggling and making fun of each other. Then they played paper football with not paper but a piece of bread left on the table.
it was actually a relief to see her dorm room and her friends. I was worried about how she was adjusting. She didn't like her room mate at first and I was concerned but I just kept my mouth shut and prayed and just knew deep down that she would work it all out.
I had all these emotions from the time that she left for college. I spent the summer watching her come and go and tried to practice separating myself from her. I spent so much time letting her go that when she actually left i thought I was okay with it. I always say after all that I don't want them living with me the rest of my life. i don't sit at home crying because i miss her. i actually think very little about it. We don't talk every day but a couple times a week she'll call or text or I'll see something really funny that i think she might laugh at and i'll tell her about it but not often.
So, it took me by complete surprise as we dropped her off at her dorm the first night before her curfew that i started to just ball my head off. Uncontrollable sobs and tears and I couldn't help myself. My son sat next to me obviously uncomfortable and confused because we would be seeing her again the next day. He was a really good boy and took my advice about what to do when he sees a girl crying. So he just sat there with me quietly and let me hold his hand. Then i started crying harder because I was so proud that he actually listened to something I said and did it.
I spent the rest of the weekend doing her laundry. I wanted to clean her room but the best I could do was tidy it up and put clean sheets on the bed.I bought her warm clothes and makeup. We tried to get her a hair cut but it was Sunday. I didn't want to leave her. The place was empty and she had been fighting on the phone with her dad(ahole). I was very sick and could've stayed but after some pepto bismol and a nap on the fresh bedding, I finally took off. And yes again i was in my car crying, son uncomfortable but doing as I had told him for a change.
51-55, F