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Why is being "defensive" such a bad thing?

If I'm wrongly accused of something, why wouldn't I defend myself? Why wouldn't I defend the people and things I care about?

At what point does being "defensive" go from a fair response to aggression to being a form of aggression itself?
HerKing · 61-69, M
Someone often accuses someone of being defensive to try and negate the fact they've just said something that is rude and or a lie...

Similar but not the same exactly is when (especially in airports) the clown behind the till/desk thinks it's okay to talk to you as if you're something unpleasant they found under their shoe but when you understandably become indignant/irate, they press the button and accuse you of being argumentative/angry...Too fucking right!
Spitbak · 56-60, M
I think if you jump to conclusions and automatically get defensive. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, we interpret something somebody said wrong. We need to make sure we correctly understand the message before we get defensive.
SW-User
@midnightrose True. Sometimes defensiveness is too quick and too hostile, and it may be the result of a misunderstanding.
HerKing · 61-69, M
@midnightrose I would say then that person imparting the good news makes it unambiguous and doesn't allow any room for misinterpretation. I think a lot of HR staff go to a finishing school where they're told they can say things that are deeply offensive and it's okay.
Spitbak · 56-60, M
😟You have EVERY right to be defensive, especially if you're in the right! All this crap is simply programming to serve the sissies and shrinks agendas! Been happening for ages! STAY STRONG AND STAND YOUR GROUND!
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
If someone accuses you of being "defensive," that person should also explain why you don't have to defend yourself. In other words, they should attempt to quell your feeling that you, or your ideas, are being attacked.
SW-User
You never score a goal. You just lessen the number scored against you. Play a balanced game.

 
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