I Have Sucidal Feelings

I Have Suicidal Thoughts And Feelings... Let me be extremely clear here... I am not suicidal and suicide is not something I would ever do but I do get the thoughts regularly. It really disgusts me that I get the thoughts, feelings and images in my head about suicide but I can't control it. I get physically sick just thinking about committing suicide yet the thoughts and images pop into my mind. There must be a portion of me that wants to do it or I wouldn't have the images but it has to be really hidden because I just couldn't do it. I hate the images, thoughts and feelings but I guess they make up a part of me and my character. Last week was the closest I ever felt to suicide and started throwing up merely thinking about it that seriously. I wish I could stop the feelings, thoughts and images but I can't