I Just Feel Like Writing What's On My Mind
So just wanna share something's that I have been thinking about lately.
At this point of my life, what I have figured out is that its not as difficult as I thought its gonna be to you know go through job abs stuff and in fact I find it quite easier.
People find me talented enough. Half the office calls me Sir now. I have a visiting card with my name and my email address. I make major decisions throughout the day.
Sure sometimes it gets stressful but atleast its not difficult as I thought its gonna be.
I have enough money to buy stuff that I want but still I have to carry the weight of my family, my mother and my little sister because my dad isn't capable enough. So technically I cant buy anything that I want because I have to consider that before I make any stupid decision.
Maybe one day I will be able to. But right now I am saving money for my sister's second year at college. She is studying Computer Applications(something that I wanted to study but couldn't affoard). I have to purchase a new laptop for her as well so that she will require very soon.
I haven't considered doing my masters yet. Sometimes I think of my career and wonder if I am not doing enough and get worried and I get the feeling with loads of anxiety, but luckily it doesn't lasts forever. My English keeps getting better though.
Sometimes I get a little lonely, lonely enough that I wanna cry and maybe just cut myself again. But I don't do that anymore, I cant affoard to do that. I have high hopes from my company and I am hoping it gets big enough that I can pull a salary in 6 digits atleast or maybe more.
While I do have friends, I don't go out with them usaully. Maybe like once in a blue moon. Last time we went out was November. Since then I have never taken a day off work. Well I did took one in December because of my mother's accident. She is gonna get better soon very soon, my bank account did took a hit because of that accident but I love her so I would spend my last penny for her.
Yesterday was valentines day and for some reason I felt lonely the same day, I know it sounds like every other single person moping on the same day but I am not single, I am alone to be precise. I am certainly asexual and I don't and cant talk to girls but I do feel like I need someone, when I am watching a movie to not feel lonely and at the end they find love. It maybe just the movie effect but isn't the world ba<x>sed upon the very simple principle?
Maybe its because I am lonely I feel like this, I certainly don't think I need someone when I am at work or busy or doing something or watching a non romantic movie/tv. I am so conflicted on that part. Maybe right now the best thing to do is to continue on the path I am and maybe one day I will be able to figure it out for myself.
I just wanna document my thoughts on ep so when u read it after few years I would be able to see how I progressed.
I came to ep on 2009 and I love how much I have developed since. I love this website and am very thankful for the same. And I promise ep, when I am capable enough I would give more than $5 per month so I could support you guys.
At this point of my life, what I have figured out is that its not as difficult as I thought its gonna be to you know go through job abs stuff and in fact I find it quite easier.
People find me talented enough. Half the office calls me Sir now. I have a visiting card with my name and my email address. I make major decisions throughout the day.
Sure sometimes it gets stressful but atleast its not difficult as I thought its gonna be.
I have enough money to buy stuff that I want but still I have to carry the weight of my family, my mother and my little sister because my dad isn't capable enough. So technically I cant buy anything that I want because I have to consider that before I make any stupid decision.
Maybe one day I will be able to. But right now I am saving money for my sister's second year at college. She is studying Computer Applications(something that I wanted to study but couldn't affoard). I have to purchase a new laptop for her as well so that she will require very soon.
I haven't considered doing my masters yet. Sometimes I think of my career and wonder if I am not doing enough and get worried and I get the feeling with loads of anxiety, but luckily it doesn't lasts forever. My English keeps getting better though.
Sometimes I get a little lonely, lonely enough that I wanna cry and maybe just cut myself again. But I don't do that anymore, I cant affoard to do that. I have high hopes from my company and I am hoping it gets big enough that I can pull a salary in 6 digits atleast or maybe more.
While I do have friends, I don't go out with them usaully. Maybe like once in a blue moon. Last time we went out was November. Since then I have never taken a day off work. Well I did took one in December because of my mother's accident. She is gonna get better soon very soon, my bank account did took a hit because of that accident but I love her so I would spend my last penny for her.
Yesterday was valentines day and for some reason I felt lonely the same day, I know it sounds like every other single person moping on the same day but I am not single, I am alone to be precise. I am certainly asexual and I don't and cant talk to girls but I do feel like I need someone, when I am watching a movie to not feel lonely and at the end they find love. It maybe just the movie effect but isn't the world ba<x>sed upon the very simple principle?
Maybe its because I am lonely I feel like this, I certainly don't think I need someone when I am at work or busy or doing something or watching a non romantic movie/tv. I am so conflicted on that part. Maybe right now the best thing to do is to continue on the path I am and maybe one day I will be able to figure it out for myself.
I just wanna document my thoughts on ep so when u read it after few years I would be able to see how I progressed.
I came to ep on 2009 and I love how much I have developed since. I love this website and am very thankful for the same. And I promise ep, when I am capable enough I would give more than $5 per month so I could support you guys.
26-30, M