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I Love My Parents

This might turn out to be a long read.

My parents were wonderful to my brother and I. How they managed to put up with us little shits is beyond me. lol But having found out what lives they had before they met each other is mind blowing to say the least. I`ll start with my father. He was married before and had two children with his first wife. He grew up on a dairy farm that was lost because of the depression. He then decided to enlist in the army to help out financially. His then wife told him in no uncertain terms that if he joined the army she would leave him. He did and she left him. Taking the two kids with her and filed for divorce. When he got out of the army he couldn`t find his children anywhere. Apparently she got remarried and moved away.

Our mother was born out west with a total of 16 siblings. Moved to Ontario with her sister. Our mother was married to an abuser from what we`ve heard. She had three children with him. She wanted out of the marriage which he agreed to. But in those days a woman had a hard time looking after one child, let alone three. So the courts granted him with custody which wasn`t long after he put them up for adoption. In today`s phrasing "they cramped his style" Her heart must have been crushed if she knew about it.

My brother and I knew none of this until they day of her funeral. My aunt who is known for her big mouth. (my fathers words for her) lol When hearing this we all just stood there dumbfounded. It took some digging on my wife`s part because she does genealogy to get some answers. It was true. It was like a punch in the chest knowing what our parents had been through.
I'm glad you shared this, I know it was hard on both parents. My grandpa was the oldest of 16 siblings and he owned a store but when the depression hit people had nothing, they would come and he gave away food until he had to shut it down. I've read your comments for a long time here and I've enjoyed them
@Degbeme there's a lot I know as I love genealogy as well. Find out so many things, good and bad
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Itsmrsockmonkey Thank gawd for the internet now. ;)
@Degbeme lol.. it's an eye opener for sure
Wow...a great story, thank you for sharing it with us.

And to think, you have siblings our there that you didn't even know you had...
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@submissivelittlewoman I know and to find out so late in life. My pleasure and thank you for reading. 🤗
@Degbeme 🤗
Fantabulous · 46-50, F
Wow Degs. My mother only learnt of her siblings when her mum died as well. She is British and was contacted by a solicitor who told her about her inheritance which would be split between her and her 2 step siblings - she was dumbfounded to say the least. Similarly my mom also had to leave her 2 boys from her first marriage with the father as she was a foreigner to our country and the courts believed they should stay with their father who was South African - for years he hid the boys from her, telling them that she was dead :(
Fantabulous · 46-50, F
@Degbeme No, just getting divorced - he physically abused her and she needed to get away from him
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Fantabulous Ah okay. But to keep her sons away from her is just cruel and disgusting. Mind you the laws there like here were archaic at that time.
Fantabulous · 46-50, F
@Degbeme Yes indeed - imagine those poor boys when they eventually found out they actually had a mother who indeed alive :( - horrible man he was to do that to all of them
SharonP · 41-45, F
Bless you all
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SharonP Thank you. Bless you too. 🤗
SW-User
Im sorry, Deggie. Im just now seeing this. What a traumatic story! Have you gotten to meet them by any chance?
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User awwww... I`m sorry. :(
SW-User
@Degbeme It's ok. I know they probably fear my brother being brought back into their lives so I understand perfectly.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User Still sad though. 🤗
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
Wow, Deg. I feel so badly for both of them with their prior relationships. I'm glad they were loving parents to you and your brother. How sad about your half-siblings though. Have you looked for them, and did you find any of them?
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
@Degbeme Wow. But it's family! They were their parents, gave birth to them. How sad. 🙁
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@ChampagneOnIce Oh I know that. The skeletons were left in the closet.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
@Degbeme 😔
SW-User
Wow,but you know they loved you and that's the most important...do you think you'll search for your half siblings?
SW-User
@Degbeme Have you are making contact?
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User My wife has spoken with their families through FB. They live quite a distance from us.
SW-User
@Degbeme cool
SW-User
Perhaps they never told the story because there are things better left unsaid.
Best part is, they focused on loving you.
SW-User
@Degbeme Maybe she just wanna spare you from sharing her sufferings. I never saw my mom cried when my father left us. It's cowardice. She taught us to be brave when life whipped us. She only cried when he died to share her grief about the loss of her first & last love. Mothers know best for their children's feelings. I'm sure your mom had valid reasons for keeping a part of her life from you.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User My brother an I will never know now. 😟
SW-User
@Degbeme I'm sorry. We have a half sister from my father's nomadic way and only found her through social media research.
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
Wow, and finding out that you have five siblings out there somewhere! Do you think you'll ever have a chance to find them?? Would you want to?
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@sarabee1995 Just read the other comments, so never mind the questions. I'm glad you got to find them.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@sarabee1995 There are only two living now. I`m in my mid 60`s and my brother is in his mid 70`s. My brother and I are unsure if we want to meet them. There was just him and I for 50+ years.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
JustNik · 51-55, F
Wow. And now you know why you were precious little shits! 🤗🤗🤗
JustNik · 51-55, F
@Degbeme 😄
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@JustNik My brother is just like me. ;)
JustNik · 51-55, F
@Degbeme 😮🤯🤦‍♀️😂
SW-User
Wow Degs. I bet that really rocked everything..did you ever look for your half siblings??
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User I`m still dubious about the whole thing. For 50+ years I had a brother and that`s it. My brother feels the same.
SW-User
I understand that. I think I’d feel the same. Xx@Degbeme
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User Thank you. 🤗
Dusty101 · F
What a great read from start to finish!
Did you ever find your half
brothers or sisters?
Its an amazing amazing story.
Glad your parents found each other. 😁
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Dusty101 Thank Dusty. There is only two still alive from each side now. Both well into their 80`s.
Bleed · 41-45, F
Wow! Thanks for sharing. No matter how shit my life is I am so thankful for my kids. I couldn’t imagine having to ever be without them 😢
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Bleed Make sure you hug them everyday. Thank you for reading. 🤗
Bleed · 41-45, F
Always do ☺️
When I have time to write I want to tell you a story abut my family
@Degbeme it's a long story
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@Itsmrsockmonkey That`s okay.
@Degbeme you've inspired me to tell this story
SmartKat · 56-60, F
What a sad story. And yet, they got through the bad parts of their life and found each other.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SmartKat That they did. :)
diablesse · 56-60, F
Wow Deg. Did you find and meet any of your half siblings?
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@diablesse The wife found them through genealogy. Not sure I want to meet them yet.
diablesse · 56-60, F
Don't you at least want to get in touch with them? I know I would have been trying to get to meet them.
SW-User
wow Degs..... wow
SW-User
@Degbeme my dad, not until I was grown and gone, finally shared stories of our very first house and the things they did to stretch a dollar until the next pay check...
all the make sure we had food, water and electricity
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@SW-User This is stuff we need to know. We tend to take things for granted sometimes. Then it`s too late. :(
SW-User
@Degbeme indeed..... indeed
AlmostAnAngel · 100+, F
Thank you for sharing your story with us Deg...🌺
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@AlmostAnAngel I`m happy you read it. Thank you. 🤗
fairone · F
*speechless * love & hugs deg 💙
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@fairone Thank you my dear. 🤗 ❤️
SW-User
Aww 🥰 sweet

 
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