I Am Human

I'm tired of wearing a mask. I can't keep acting like I'm some robot with no feelings. I can't keep fighting these natural feelings. There's no shame in feeling and definitely no shame in admitting that you feel through reaction. It's hard for me to admit this but it's the truth because I'm human. But for the longest time I've been hiding my feelings. I believed showing my feelings was weak. I believed every feeling would only lead to pain. So I fooled myself into thinking that not feeling was the best option. I became so empty, and so nonexistent. I never allowed myself to connect with others. I never allowed myself to associate with anything but pain and despair. This feeling went on throughout almost all of my teenage years. But it wasn't until just last year that I gathered enough courage to start again. I decided that I wasn't done living. Dying would've been too easy and it would've been a cowardly way to go about my exit. I had to get back up because I still had and still have things to take care of. I still had a beating heart which meant I still had a chance at becoming someone greater. I looked in the mirror and I saw a man who was still alive. It's been a year since I decided to get back up and I feel so alive because I'm being human again.