I Am a Sexual Deviant

I was writing a reply to another post about having sex with vacuum cleaners and remembered a little story..........I have used vacuum cleaners as sex toys since Adam was a boy, but a few years ago, while I was still married to the Frigid Chinese I used to have a little Blue Hoover. I took the bag out of it and it was a good fit for a soft or semi-hard on. Once it I was fully hard there was no way to pull my dick out. The hole sort of worked like a cock ring and of course the vacuum pressure made it even bigger. But the orgasm was incredible. After I would have to just wait until I was soft enough to work my dick out of it.
One time I got caught out, I was home alone and just having a session with the vac and some porn on my the computer. This was set up in the living room. My frigid Chinese wife came home early, walked in the front door and caught me just after I had cum. Still with the vac sitting on the chair and the porn playing on the screen. My dick still hard and stuck firmly into the vacuum cleaner. She looked away with a horrified expression on her face, rushed past me and went to the bedroom shutting the door behind her. Would you believe that at another time she said that I had "nauseating sexual hobbies"???